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Author:Suma T
Software Engineer
Software Engineer
IT ethics
Hi
In the wake of two shocking incidents that took place in Bangalore and
Hyderabad, couples committing suicide because of extra-marital affairs
with their colleagues, I just thought of writing a small article on
how to avoid such incidents. This is really a serious matter and if
not dealt on at an early stage could lead to such incidents in our
personal life too. I have done research on human behavior and
psychology and am trying to put-in some text which may (or may not) be
helpful to you. Never-the-less I feel it's worth knowing such things
and if possible every individual can make a conscious effort to more
or less follow the same.
Some people don't take advice but taking good advice may
do you no harm. Thos who are not married this is the best article as
before starting a new relationship if you are ready for it, will only
help you to lead a happy life.
Read on...
We spend 40/45/50/60 hours a week with our colleagues.
This is the most we spend with any members of our family. So it's
obvious they are an integral part of our life. Good, understood. But
an important point to remember is colleagues are colleagues and not
friends and if you think they are friends then you are highly
mistaken. Imagine working together for 9 hours a day together and then
returning home and continuing to talk with your colleague on phone.
This is what happened with that Infosys guy who could not stand this
behavior of his wife and killed her and committed suicide. Which
husband would like his wife talking on phone with her colleague and
that too male counterpart? Or which wife will like her husband doing
the same? Just keep yourself in that situation and see. Anger will
creep in within you.
So whatever gossip or topic you want to discuss with your
colleagues do it during office hours and once you are out of office
forget about your work and your colleagues unless it's official
matter.
Just check this unnecessary talk…
A guy and her colleague walking out of office at 6.30p.m. At 7.30 or
8.00 the guy calls that female,
Guy: Hi, how are you? Where have you reached? (Don't you know how she
is and where she must be at this time)
Lady: I am fine. Reached home.
Guy: What are you cooking today?
Lady: So and so (Now here the lady knows that the guy has called to
flirt with her and the call is unnecessary. It's the duty of the
female to say something to avoid that guy. If she doesn't at this
stage then this call will be going for another 30-45 mins and
questions like 'What time you will sleep? What will you bring for me
for breakfast for tomorrow will creep in?' and imagine the state of
the family members of that lady at this point.
They expect the lady to come and talk with them for
sometime but here this lady is enjoying a talk with the guy with whom
she has been working since morning. No wonder such people will have a
horrendous married life.
A simple thing to think about. Say you are not married.
You go to office and come back say at 6.00 in the evening. You have so
much of time left. Can't you read some books and increase your
knowledge rather than spending one-two hours on mobile. Girls can
start experimenting with new dishes. Main thing to understand is such
gossiping on calls becomes on habit and bad habits die-hard. You will
be addicted to talking and this can be bad as time goes on. One you
start working you have to come out of college life. In college you
could enjoy, flirt and do anything you wanted. But this is real life.
Be responsible or else you will be responsible for your terrible life
and the life if your husband/wife.
Any person no matter who he/she is would never like
his/her wife/husband having such relationship with her/his colleagues.
Last year 90% of divorce happened because of Extra-Marital Affairs and
in that 80% because of relationships with colleagues. And we would not
like this to happen with us. So start from now.
Guys see to it that you don't put an habit of calling you
female-colleagues after office hours or on weekends or holidays, even
if they provoke you or give missed calls. Let them spend time with
their family members or other friends. You also do the same. Good
girls don't give missed calls. And girls who give I need not say what
kind of girls they are. Stay away from them. You can talk as much as
you want in office. And gals, if any guy calls you then it's not bad
to say 'No, Let's talk in office' or 'I am busy, talk with you
tomorrow' to that guy. Do it twice and they will automatically stop
calling. Guys have this habit of flirting and you allowing them to
flirt will only help them do more. Relationships can always be
maintained in right manner. Never succumb to emotional pressure like
'You don't want to talk with me or what' or 'You can call him but you
can't call me' or 'You talk for so and so time with her but with me
only this much'. Some people fall for this because they don't want to
lose a friend. Again I say colleague is not a friend. They are just
here to work and keep on moving in their life. They go to other
company, go for growth and so on. They will not wait for you in the
same office to be with you forever. So don't be emotionally attached
with your colleagues. They are competitors and always on their toes to
show you down in front of seniors and managers. You may not realize
now but this is a fact, be ready for it.
Imagine a girl getting married and someone says to her to be husband,
that guy over there is the one who regularly calls your wife or your
wife gives missed calls or calls that guy. Always this thing will
remain on the back of his mind. Similarly someone tells the bride that
your groom always keeps calling that girl or vice-versa…. Imagine
yourself at that place. Situations arise because we allow them to. No
one can lead ideal life but we can always make a sincere effort to
lead one.
Another note to be taken about: (strictly male to female
and female to male contexts)
If your colleague calls you. Just check
out whether if he calls others also. If he doesn't then find out why?
No guy will call other girl if he is not interested in that girl. In a
group there can be five females but it's not necessary that a guy
calls all five. He will only call the one on whom he is interested.
Similarly, a girl will not give missed call to everyone. If she gives
then she must be really lonely. Stay away from them or you will be
caught in their loving talk. Guys normally fall for girls because of
their beauty or their talk. So if a guy colleague comes to you and
proposes you then it's not his mistake completely, it's more of yours
because you were the one who used to give him that space.
Also you become a topic of gossip among your fellow
colleagues if they come to know that one of their colleagues is
calling you and not calling others. And there is nothing more
dangerous than office gossip. It can cost you your job and just
remember how easily you got this job.
So please keep your office and it's people at office and
lead a normal happy life. For your good and for the good of your
spouse. Send it to your colleagues, friends, relatives, parents and
everyone and avoid incidents like the one mentioned at the beginning
of this article. If you feel anyone is doing anything mentioned above
then just go and tell him/her. You will be helping someone in their
life.
In the wake of two shocking incidents that took place in Bangalore and
Hyderabad, couples committing suicide because of extra-marital affairs
with their colleagues, I just thought of writing a small article on
how to avoid such incidents. This is really a serious matter and if
not dealt on at an early stage could lead to such incidents in our
personal life too. I have done research on human behavior and
psychology and am trying to put-in some text which may (or may not) be
helpful to you. Never-the-less I feel it's worth knowing such things
and if possible every individual can make a conscious effort to more
or less follow the same.
Some people don't take advice but taking good advice may
do you no harm. Thos who are not married this is the best article as
before starting a new relationship if you are ready for it, will only
help you to lead a happy life.
Read on...
We spend 40/45/50/60 hours a week with our colleagues.
This is the most we spend with any members of our family. So it's
obvious they are an integral part of our life. Good, understood. But
an important point to remember is colleagues are colleagues and not
friends and if you think they are friends then you are highly
mistaken. Imagine working together for 9 hours a day together and then
returning home and continuing to talk with your colleague on phone.
This is what happened with that Infosys guy who could not stand this
behavior of his wife and killed her and committed suicide. Which
husband would like his wife talking on phone with her colleague and
that too male counterpart? Or which wife will like her husband doing
the same? Just keep yourself in that situation and see. Anger will
creep in within you.
So whatever gossip or topic you want to discuss with your
colleagues do it during office hours and once you are out of office
forget about your work and your colleagues unless it's official
matter.
Just check this unnecessary talk…
A guy and her colleague walking out of office at 6.30p.m. At 7.30 or
8.00 the guy calls that female,
Guy: Hi, how are you? Where have you reached? (Don't you know how she
is and where she must be at this time)
Lady: I am fine. Reached home.
Guy: What are you cooking today?
Lady: So and so (Now here the lady knows that the guy has called to
flirt with her and the call is unnecessary. It's the duty of the
female to say something to avoid that guy. If she doesn't at this
stage then this call will be going for another 30-45 mins and
questions like 'What time you will sleep? What will you bring for me
for breakfast for tomorrow will creep in?' and imagine the state of
the family members of that lady at this point.
They expect the lady to come and talk with them for
sometime but here this lady is enjoying a talk with the guy with whom
she has been working since morning. No wonder such people will have a
horrendous married life.
A simple thing to think about. Say you are not married.
You go to office and come back say at 6.00 in the evening. You have so
much of time left. Can't you read some books and increase your
knowledge rather than spending one-two hours on mobile. Girls can
start experimenting with new dishes. Main thing to understand is such
gossiping on calls becomes on habit and bad habits die-hard. You will
be addicted to talking and this can be bad as time goes on. One you
start working you have to come out of college life. In college you
could enjoy, flirt and do anything you wanted. But this is real life.
Be responsible or else you will be responsible for your terrible life
and the life if your husband/wife.
Any person no matter who he/she is would never like
his/her wife/husband having such relationship with her/his colleagues.
Last year 90% of divorce happened because of Extra-Marital Affairs and
in that 80% because of relationships with colleagues. And we would not
like this to happen with us. So start from now.
Guys see to it that you don't put an habit of calling you
female-colleagues after office hours or on weekends or holidays, even
if they provoke you or give missed calls. Let them spend time with
their family members or other friends. You also do the same. Good
girls don't give missed calls. And girls who give I need not say what
kind of girls they are. Stay away from them. You can talk as much as
you want in office. And gals, if any guy calls you then it's not bad
to say 'No, Let's talk in office' or 'I am busy, talk with you
tomorrow' to that guy. Do it twice and they will automatically stop
calling. Guys have this habit of flirting and you allowing them to
flirt will only help them do more. Relationships can always be
maintained in right manner. Never succumb to emotional pressure like
'You don't want to talk with me or what' or 'You can call him but you
can't call me' or 'You talk for so and so time with her but with me
only this much'. Some people fall for this because they don't want to
lose a friend. Again I say colleague is not a friend. They are just
here to work and keep on moving in their life. They go to other
company, go for growth and so on. They will not wait for you in the
same office to be with you forever. So don't be emotionally attached
with your colleagues. They are competitors and always on their toes to
show you down in front of seniors and managers. You may not realize
now but this is a fact, be ready for it.
Imagine a girl getting married and someone says to her to be husband,
that guy over there is the one who regularly calls your wife or your
wife gives missed calls or calls that guy. Always this thing will
remain on the back of his mind. Similarly someone tells the bride that
your groom always keeps calling that girl or vice-versa…. Imagine
yourself at that place. Situations arise because we allow them to. No
one can lead ideal life but we can always make a sincere effort to
lead one.
Another note to be taken about: (strictly male to female
and female to male contexts)
If your colleague calls you. Just check
out whether if he calls others also. If he doesn't then find out why?
No guy will call other girl if he is not interested in that girl. In a
group there can be five females but it's not necessary that a guy
calls all five. He will only call the one on whom he is interested.
Similarly, a girl will not give missed call to everyone. If she gives
then she must be really lonely. Stay away from them or you will be
caught in their loving talk. Guys normally fall for girls because of
their beauty or their talk. So if a guy colleague comes to you and
proposes you then it's not his mistake completely, it's more of yours
because you were the one who used to give him that space.
Also you become a topic of gossip among your fellow
colleagues if they come to know that one of their colleagues is
calling you and not calling others. And there is nothing more
dangerous than office gossip. It can cost you your job and just
remember how easily you got this job.
So please keep your office and it's people at office and
lead a normal happy life. For your good and for the good of your
spouse. Send it to your colleagues, friends, relatives, parents and
everyone and avoid incidents like the one mentioned at the beginning
of this article. If you feel anyone is doing anything mentioned above
then just go and tell him/her. You will be helping someone in their
life.
Comment 1: By Deepak b on 24th Jun 2008
it is a nice article. when both husband and wife
have a strong understanding then such type of case
does not occur. it is a nice thought.
Comment 2: By Rajesh G on 11th Jun 2008
Proper balance of professionals and personal life
is necessary not only post marriage but even pre
marriage, so that things could move smoothly once
you are married. Such incidents basically occurs
when couples are not able to find sufficient time
for each other and are unable to prioritizes
things in life.I feel post marital counseling is
become a necessity for working couples now.
Comment 3: By Vicky Rockstar on 11th Jun 2008
Hey good thoughts... Looking forward to see more
from ye like this...
Comment 4: By Rajan Singh on 11th Jun 2008
nice intresting and incradible thought
Comment 5: By sumeet on 11th Jun 2008
hey interesting thought
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