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kiran kumar
Author:kiran kumar
IT proffesional
GREAT INDIANS FROM US
Wednesday 07th, May 2008
Top 22 things an Indian does after returning to India from "US".

22. Use Nope for No and Yep for Yes.

21. Tries to use credit card in road side hotel.

20. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of health conscious.

19. Sprays deo such so that he doesn't need to take bath.

18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.

17. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi".
Says "Yogurt" instead says "Curds".
Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi".
Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".
Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".

Says " Free Way " instead of "Highway".
Says "got to go" instead of "Have to go".
Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, says Seven Oh Four Instead of Seven Zero Four)

16. Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing every time he steps out.

15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and counts in Millions. (Not in Lakhs)

14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible (but deep down the heart multiplies by 43 times).

13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket.

12. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats "Zee" several times, if the other person unable to get, then says X, Y Zee(but never says Zed)

11. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY, on watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY, says "Oh! British Style!!!!"

10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions.

9. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag".

8. Avoids eating more chili (hot) stuff.

7. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke.

6.. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is experiencing it for the first time.

5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "mojule".

4. Looks suspiciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.

Few more important

3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways by which he traveled back to India , even after 4 months of arrival.

2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries to roll the bag on Indian Roads.

Ultimate one:
1.. Tries to begin conversation with "In US ...." or "When I was in US..."

 
Comments
Comment 1: By Rajesh Srivastava on 13th May 2008
Really very amusing. Yes I noticed people saying any of these "Catchy 22" situations / points.
Once back from US, I wore the Indian Hat.

By merely paying our annual taxes, nobody becomes automatically entitled to complain/ compare/ berate/ belittle etc, our country which gave everything and later was found suitable enough to be sent for a US etc. assignments.


Comment 2: By Prakash Pimpale on 13th May 2008
The observations are really true and I find roots of this mentality in our past. When British were ruling us, some people who got to be contact with them always tried to follow their culture when with the natives.
I will like to add some thing I have seen so many people, even though never went to US, talking about how we are inferior to them(and they want to show ultimately to who is speaking that as he knows about the US). This is quit right when it's with the purpose of analyzing ourselves. But seems really cheap while just using it for the sake of showing superiority.
True we are not so developed nation. We have traffic problems ,pollution too, most of the people are not much health concious and blala. But it doesn't mean who spent more years of his life in same environment, come and critisise it.
If someone returns from outside, he should better show ways how to solve these problems and not critisize it. Regarding culture We Are The Best so those who are going there take this with you and same there.

Comment 3: By GURUMURTHY KARGAL on 12th May 2008
I feel observations are 100% correct and are interesting ones.One should learn to live like an Indian when in India..You should get adjusted to the local environment(eating, talking and livinig styles)quickly.Should not unnecessarily show off and fabricate complaints.
Dr.Kargal Gurumurthy,Bangalore

Comment 4: By Natarajan Iyer on 12th May 2008
It's good observation.Excepting ,talking about pollution and and comparing conditions I do not see anything wrong.If one is involved with youngesters in their job there and been there for more than two years,probabaly can not help getting the ascent and slang. Like one speaks in Chennai Tamil.
Again who is not showing off. Now there are institutes and even organisations here who teach their people American English.Important we should not get influenced.

Comment 5: By Moorthy Alamuru on 12th May 2008
This is perfectly true.More particularly it is remarkable true in the case of the housewives, who went to US and stayed there for more than a Year, than their children who worked there and came back to work here in India.

Comment 6: By Randeep . on 12th May 2008
SO WOT IZZ DA PROBLEM IN DAT.....

Comment 7: By Shashank on 12th May 2008
Thats a superb observation, people need to realize where they are from and rather showing off they can share the knowledge what they have got in other countries and there culture.

Comment 8: By Kamlesh Attal on 12th May 2008
Its certainly true. but the matter of fact is its more common in people tend to visit or lived in the USA n not for other countries. N also when coming to speaking even Hindi or other Indian Language the accent is not spared. Its a very wonderful excerpt.


Comment 9: By Sharada Prasadita on 12th May 2008
This is so true but so very hilarious...I just rolled off the chair laughing...
Stupid how one thinks they become superior by just going to another country. :-)
Kudos to the author...excellent sense of humour and observation power

Comment 10: By Sam Seshadri on 12th May 2008
I agree with most observation. Like to make one comment.. I feel we (in general) and returnees (in parrticular) continue to carry the legacy of inferiority complex, hence we use the past to gain acceptance or recognition. I feel we must stop this "artifical" feeling and get over the negativity contributed largely by British... I returned to India few months ago after 10 years.

Comment 11: By KrishnaChandra Dodballapur on 10th May 2008
Have been here for a significant period of time, forget about in India, here the younger crowd that has been for a few years are more American than the Natives. Have seen youngsters handling the door knobs with paper napkins. Fortunately for me, I still don't seem enough 'foreign' when I am in Mysore to people and I have been spared the scrutiny. Your observations are pretty accurate and one can have a big laugh over this.

Comment 12: By Nontek SingWali on 09th May 2008
When did one in India need to come back from US to feel like 'in US' ?? But anyone who has gone out and come back, has been through an eyeopening experience at home and abroad

Comment 13: By Nontek SingWalia on 09th May 2008
When did one in India need to come back from US to feel like 'in US' ?? But anyone who has gone out and come back, has been through an eyeopening experience about home and abroad

Comment 14: By Ramakrishnan Bashyam on 09th May 2008
I guess it goes both ways. I remember this incident, when I visited Chennai few years ago, I was travelling in an auto. When I tried to converse with the auto driver in Tamil, he would always reply back in English. I noticed the same thing with my relatives too during my recent visits. When I visit them, they try to speak to my son in English, even though I tell to converse in Tamil.

Comment 15: By Hema Tilak on 08th May 2008
I think this happens more often with the first time returned visitors who have stayed there for a while. Lets see what happens in my case I m still waiting to get my chance to show off ;-)

Comment 16: By Visakh VA on 08th May 2008
Yup ye guys r right (Dont get frustrated...)... Yes you are correct :-)

One key thing he missed out... Starts and ends the sentence with f**k & f**kin most of the time

Comment 17: By Mathew Varghese on 08th May 2008
Whoever wrote this did a good job. You have very closely been involved with US returned Indians. I agree with you. I also agree with what Suman Kumari said. Some of them genuinely need time to come out of it especially for those who stayed more than a couple of decades, but for the rest its all just mind set. They think that other Indians will be impressed when they come to know that they've been to US or will respect them more, yes, sometimes this may be true, people from villages may respect or admire a US returned person. If not, for a common man all those US returned persons must understand that he/she is just a human who got an opportunity to visit/work in US thats all.., they dont mean anything more or anything less. I am a Hyderabadi, I live in the Gulf working for Americans for almost 15 years but not a drop of my Hyderabadi style is changed or I intend to change.

Comment 18: By Suman Kumari on 07th May 2008
Its like even after being in India they think that they are still US, or just wanna show off their US return status to others. But in some cases it is genuine because need time to come to terms with Indian atmosphere from that of US.

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