Cricket - It is time for you to retire if ...

Doctors who treat your injuries start whispering something to your selectors, who then start staring at you with a worried look from then on.

The cricket board wants your suggestion for buying wheelchairs, crutches and other sports injury equipment.

The media and book publishers want to know when you will start writing your autobiography.

The media cameras seem to focus more and more on your grey hair and the bald patch on your head.

Motorbike and sports car manufacturers suddenly start shunning you, while hair dye manufacturers, contact lens and baldness cure clinics start pestering you for advertisements.

Your chauffeur not only opens the door for you, but also insists on helping you get in and get out.

Your signature bat starts looking like a walking stick.

Your hard core fans start applauding and appreciating even when you score the lowest possible runs, while your former fans start burning your effigy.

Your fans start sending calcium and vitamin tablets as gifts for your birthday.

Your team members start calling you uncle, and make you sit in the shade whenever possible.

Your coach insists you wear a sweater and a woolen scarf during early morning practice.

Your fastest run seems like slow motion on TV.

The cricket board's official painter seeks an appointment for painting a portrait of yours for the cricket museum.

Your sports psychologist suddenly starts discussing strange things like midlife crisis, arthritis, Generation-X, etc., with you.

You need your selector's permission to say you are under no pressure to retire.

Statements like old goat, in spite of his age, imagine-at his age, etc., start appearing in newspapers and TV with startling regularity.

Your confidential fitness report is the talk of the town.

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Thejendra BS is an IT manager and author from Bangalore, India. He scribbles mild and wild articles on technology, business management, sports, self improvement, humor, etc. Visit his web cave www.thejendra.com for his free articles and details of his books.