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Vicky Rockstar
Author:Vicky Rockstar
Reporter
Corporate language !! Amazing... Its not worth a miss...
Thursday 12th, June 2008
Corporate language !!

"We will do it"
means
" You will do it"

"You have done a great job"
means
"More work to be given to you"

"We are working on it"
means
"We have not yet started working on the same"

"Tomorrow first thing in the morning"
means
"It's not getting done...
At least not tomorrow !".

"After discussion we will decide - I am very open to views"
means
"I have already decided, I will tell you what to do"

"There was a slight miscommunication"
means
"We had actually lied"

"Let's call a meeting and discuss"
means
"I have no time now, will talk later"

"We can always do it"
means
"We actually cannot do the same on time"

"We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the
deadline"
means
"The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."

"We had slight differences of opinion"
means
"We had actually fought"

"Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you"
means
"Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"

"You should have told me earlier"
means
"Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any
difference!"

"We need to find out the real reason"
means
"Well I will tell you where your fault is"

"Well... family is important, your leave is always granted. Just ensure
that the work is not affected"
means
"Well you know..."

"We are a team"
means
"I am not the only one to be blamed"

"That's actually a good question"
means
"I do not know anything about it"

"All the Best"
means
" You are in trouble"

 
Comments
Comment 1: By Vicky Rockstar on 13th Jun 2008
Hi saheer karimbayil
Since you asked I can explain you the meaning of "Fuck" I dont know how siliconindians are going to react to me. (Excuse me guys)

Its actually told by osho in a speech

BELOVED MASTER,
I FEEL SHOCKED WHEN YOU USE THE WORD 'FUCK'.
WHAT TO DO?

Sargamo, it is one of the most beautiful words.
The English language should be proud of it.
I don't think any other language has such a beautiful word.
One Tom from California has done some great research on it.
I think he must be the famous Tom of Tom, Dick and Harry fame.
He says: One of the most interesting words in the English language today is the word 'fuck'.
It is one magical word: just by its sound it can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love.
In language it falls into many grammatical categories.
It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John), and as a noun (Mary is a fine fuck).
It can be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful).
As you can see there are not many words with the versatility of 'fuck'.
Besides the sexual meaning, there are also the following uses:

Fraud: I got fucked at the used car lot.
Ignorance: Fucked if I know.
Trouble: I guess I am fucked now!
Aggression: Fuck you!
Displeasure: What the fuck is going on here?
Difficulty: I can't understand this fucking job.
Incompetence: He is a fuck-off.
Suspicion: What the fuck are you doing?
Enjoyment: I had a fucking good time.
Request: Get the fuck out of here!
Hostility: I am going to knock your fucking head off!
Greeting: How the fuck are you?
Apathy: Who gives a fuck?
Innovation: Get a bigger fucking hammer.
Surprise: Fuck! You scared the shit out of me!
Anxiety: Today is really fucked. And it is very healthy too.

If every morning you do it as a Transcendental Meditation -- just when you get up, the first thing, repeat the mantra "Fuck you!" five times -- it clears the throat.
That's how I keep my throat clear!
Enough for today.


Comment 2: By Rojen P on 13th Jun 2008
Thank you for bringing out the iner meaning of that. It is really nice and fantastic

Comment 3: By saheer karimbayil on 13th Jun 2008
Great! good work, but wher is the meaning of fuck, shit etc? One more addiction
"Let me make it very clear" means you have done something wrong!


Comment 4: By Vicky Rockstar on 13th Jun 2008
hey thanks sumeet... a tons of thanks... keep forwarding this to ur friends :-)

Comment 5: By Medha Nair on 12th Jun 2008
Pure corporate terms often used during meeting,then didn't knew its meaning but now I feel things bit clear.Never knew that the terms used in meetings had dual meaning. May be that the reason why we invited trouble to us at times.

Comment 6: By abhishek kumar sahay on 12th Jun 2008
hai from next time i will be careful when u use these line

Comment 7: By sumeet on 12th Jun 2008
good thought, N how truly said, kudos to whoever have written it.

Vicky good work, keep Ctrl C & Ctrl V rolling atleast something worth reading

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