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Health - an interesting one
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolonglife; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, andthat's it... Don't waste them on exercise Everythingwears out eventually. Speeding u p your heart will notmake you live longer; that's like saying you canextend the life of your car by driving it faster. Wantto live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits andvegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables.So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of fieldgrass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out ofthe fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, I f you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophyis: No Pain...Good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: You're not listening.... Foods are fried thesedays in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable. It's the best feel-good food around! !
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! ! Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with theintention of arriving safely in an attractive and wellpreserved body, but rather to skid in sideways -Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - bodythoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming,"WOO HOO, What a Ride!"
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, andthat's it... Don't waste them on exercise Everythingwears out eventually. Speeding u p your heart will notmake you live longer; that's like saying you canextend the life of your car by driving it faster. Wantto live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits andvegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables.So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of fieldgrass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out ofthe fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, I f you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophyis: No Pain...Good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: You're not listening.... Foods are fried thesedays in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable. It's the best feel-good food around! !
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! ! Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with theintention of arriving safely in an attractive and wellpreserved body, but rather to skid in sideways -Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - bodythoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming,"WOO HOO, What a Ride!"
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