So here are some tips on how to " behave like a manager ".

Tip 1.

Be consistent.

One thing people seem to value in their managers is
consistency, knowing where they stand. They don't like
managers who are moody - approachable one day and prickly
the next. Of course, if you're going to be consistent, it
would be better to be approachable all the time rather than
prickly all the time.

Tip 2.

Don't have favourites.

This is linked to Tip 1. Treat everyone the same, don't
have favourites. Or, more specifically, don't be perceived
as having favourites.

Perception is reality, as they say. This is particularly
true in management, when the people you manage may interpret
your actions is ways which surprise you. You need to be
particularly careful to be seen to be treating everyone
equally. For example, when allocating work, allowing time
off.

Tip 3.

Don't shout, swear, or have tantrums.

Just because you're a manager, it doesn't mean you're no
longer a human being. You will still have frustrations and
things will tax your patience. But you need to manage your
emotions.

When you're a manager, people are watching your behaviour.
They expect you to be a role model in many ways ( see Tip 4 }.
And they want you to behave consistently ( see Tip 1 ).
So they don't want to see you coming in, slamming the door,
cursing the person who cut you up on the way into work and
generally behaving like a bear with a sore head ( or even a
manager with a sore head ).

One of the sacrifices you make when you're a manager is
that you can't just behave exactly as you want, you've got
to think about the impression you're making on other
people.

Tip 4.

Be a role model for the behaviour you want from others.

I've worked for two types of managers. One type saw it as a
responsibility, they were the ones who would turn up early
and leave late when necessary, who would always be there
when difficult things had to be done. They led by example,
they showed the behaviour they expected from others.

The other type seemed to think that, now they were managers,
they had " made it ". In other words, they could pass on
all the pressure ( and the unwanted tasks ) to other people.

I actually had a headteacher once who used to listen to the
racing in his office in the afternoons because, in his mind,
he'd done his bit and being the Head was his reward for
years of working for a living. It was the Deputy Head who
was there to do all the work.

My wife has also worked for managers like this, when she
worked at a bank. There were some who routinely took all the
days off around Bank Holidays or Christmas and made sure
they blocked out their days off on the holiday rota before
anyone else got a look at it.

If you want the people who work for you to behave in a
certain way, model that behaviour yourself.

Tip 5.

Don't join in gossip.

Like it or not, if you're a manager of any kind, you
represent the organisation you work for. You're a leader, a
role model ( as I mentioned above ). People don't expect to
see you joining in gossip ( and certainly not starting it ).
If you hear other people gossiping, about the organisation
or about the people in it, don't join in and don't
encourage it.

Be as open as you can with people, let them know what's
going on and what's planned so there's less space for
gossip. But it will still happen, it's pretty much human
nature, just don't be a part of it.

Tip 6.

Similarly, don't criticise other people ( or the
organisation ) publicly.

There are times, as a manager, when you should keep your
opinions to yourself. Never criticise someone who works for
you in front of their colleagues and refrain from joining in
any moaning about the organisation. You may be tempted to
let people know if you actually agree with their comments,
but in the long run it tends to undermine your authority and
respect.

Tip 7.

Since I've mentioned respect, as a general approach, go for
being respected rather than liked.

Most people I've come across prefer to work for someone
they respect. They don't necessarily have to like their
managers but they do need to respect them in order for
everyone to work together well.

How do you get respect? By doing some of the things I've
already mentioned - be consistent, treat people fairly and
equally, show that you're prepared to behave the way you
want others to behave, etc.

Tip 8.

Don't try to be " one of the gang ".

This is one of the hardest things for new managers to work
out, how to walk that line between being " friendly " and
being " the boss ". As I've said, aim to be respected
first. People are looking for a lead from you, they know
you're the manager and not " one of the gang ". They
expect certain things from you.

Of course you should be friendly and approachable but accept
you're not just one of the team, you're a leader.

Someone on a workshop asked, " How friendly is too
friendly? " I don't think there's a clear answer to that,
you need to make your own judgements. But I've touched on a
few things - e.g. don't join in gossip, don't criticise
the organisation to people who work for you.

If your team are going out for a drink after work, should
you go with them? Of course, it depends on whether they've
asked you! But, if they do, should you go? I'm not saying
that you shouldn't, you don't want to be seen as aloof or
uninterested in them as people. But you may decide only to
do it occasionally, not every time they go out. And you
still need to watch how you behave and what you say when you
are out with them.