Conversation between a newly hired PMO Consultant and a Client who has managed projects his/her way and has been recently promoted to a management role from a developer role:

PMO Consultant: Where is the project plan?

Client: Why waste your time. I have the project timeline in a piece of paper in my pocket.

PMO Consultant: Why do carry the piece of paper in your pocket?

Client: It is the paper version of the PDA or you can call it reverse reengineering.

PMO Consultant: Do you have a Change Control process in place?

Client: We do changes on the fly. I get approval from my boss verbally and instruct my team verbally to carry out the changes.

PMO Consultant: Will this not turn out to be costly?

Client: No. A Change Control process is costly.

PMO Consultant: Do you have standards for naming documents?

Client: No, each team member names the document he/she creates after his/her name.

PMO Consultant: This is unconventional method.

Client: No, it helps us to identify the author of the document easily.

PMO Consultant: How do you document requirements from the Business?

Client: We just talk to the Business and develop Code.

PMO Consultant: How do you handle risk?

Client: We do not have risk as we are perfect and we know what we are doing.

PMO Consultant: Do you have a Project Charter?

Client: I have a piece of paper from my Boss that says I have a project and this is my baby.

PMO Consultant: You should document meeting minutes.

Client: Why waste your time.

PMO Consultant: Are you getting sign off from the business?

Client: It is not required as I am the whole and sole authority on the project.

PMO Consultant: You should have an organization chart for your project team.

Client: I can’t stand these suggestions. You are fired.