That upstart Pune has claimed the first Indian victim of you-know-what. But Mumbai can still boast of the most dangerous road on earth. Its Sane Guruji Marg houses Kasab's Arthur Road Jail on one side and the Kasturba Hospital for Infectious Diseases exactly opposite. Some might call it bioterrorism.

Chennai and Ahmedabad have also managed to get their 15 minutes of fame, but Delhi is yet to open its account. Whatever other contagion the capital's politicians get and spread, it won't be spine flu. Spinal cord is quite different from vocal chords; the stronger the latter, the weaker the former.

Now that the pandemic has fatally hit home, and the mask is the new must-have accessory, it is only a matter of time before swine flu begins to impact areas quite outside the concern of medicine. That's what's causing my nightly cold sweats.

The Ambani war has reached epidemic -- and epic -- proportions. It won't be long before some eager beaver from Mukesh's camp demands that the virulent Anil be put away in an isolation ward, preferably with a muzzle surgically sutured on to his mouth. The masks have been off on both sides a long while ago.

The temperature will also rise on Dr Singh. The PM could well be flayed in Parliament for the union government's foot-dragging over sending the army, navy, air force, ATS, RAF, CRPF and the Byculla boy scouts to fight this ongoing terror. 'No lessons have been learnt from 26/11!' the Opposition will thunder with impressive originality.

There is no such thing as gubernatorial immunity either, as the West Bengal government is determinedly trying to establish. They have been insisting on Gopalkrishna Gandhi being deported since he is seriously endangering their health. However, for a change, the Marxists have shown some connect with reality. They are confining their efforts to this secondary infection because they know that it's no use hooking their main malaise to an ICU machine. Mamata is a hyper-ventilator already.