Practising what you preach
Only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches
A lady libertarian wrote a lot of letters to the
government, complaining about the treatment of captive
insurgents (terrorists) being held in Afghanistan National
Correctional System facilities.
She received back the following reply:
National Defence Headquarters
Maj.Gen. George R. Pearkes Bldg, 15 NT
101 Colonel By Drive
Ottawa, ONT.
K1A 0K2
Dear Concerned Citizen;
Thank you for your recent letter expressing your profound
concern of treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda terrorists
captured by Canadian Forces who were subsequently transferred
to the Afghanistan Government and are currently being held by
Afghan officials in Afghanistan National Correctional System facilities.
Our administration takes these matters seriously and your
opinions were heard loud and clear here in Ottawa.
You will be pleased to learn, thanks to the concerns of
citizens like yourself, we are creating a new department here
at the Department of National Defense, to be called
"Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers" program, or
L.A.R.K. For short.
In accordance with the guidelines of this new program,
we have decided to divert one terrorist and place him in
your personal care. Your personal detainee has been
selected and is scheduled for Transportation under heavily
armed guard to your residence in Toronto next Monday.
Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him
Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards
you personally demanded in your letter of complaint.
It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant
caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure
that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with
those you so strongly recommend in your letter.
Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope
that your sensitivity to what you described as his
"attitudinal problem" will help him overcome these character
flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems
as mere cultural differences. We understand that you plan to
offer counseling and home schooling.
Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in
hand-to-handcombat and can extinguish human life with
such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers.
We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these
skills at your next yoga group. He is also expert at
making a wide variety of explosive devices from common
household products, so you may wish to keep those items
locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend him.
Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your
daughters (except sexually) since he views females as
a subhuman form of property. This is a particularly
sensitive subject for him and he has been known to show
violent tendencies around women who fail to comply
with the new dress code that he will recommend as more
appropriate attire. I'm sure you will come to enjoy the
anonymity offered by the burka over time.
Just remember that it is all part of "respecting his
culture and religious beliefs" as described in your letter.
Thanks again for your concern.
We truly appreciate it when folks like you keep us informed
our fellow man. You take good care of Ahmed and remember.
We'll be watching.
I am given to understand that the above is a factual incident.
We do not know whether the lady accepted the offer but her letters to the government suddenly stopped coming, presumably she didn't accept the offer.
government, complaining about the treatment of captive
insurgents (terrorists) being held in Afghanistan National
Correctional System facilities.
She received back the following reply:
National Defence Headquarters
Maj.Gen. George R. Pearkes Bldg, 15 NT
101 Colonel By Drive
Ottawa, ONT.
K1A 0K2
Dear Concerned Citizen;
Thank you for your recent letter expressing your profound
concern of treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda terrorists
captured by Canadian Forces who were subsequently transferred
to the Afghanistan Government and are currently being held by
Afghan officials in Afghanistan National Correctional System facilities.
Our administration takes these matters seriously and your
opinions were heard loud and clear here in Ottawa.
You will be pleased to learn, thanks to the concerns of
citizens like yourself, we are creating a new department here
at the Department of National Defense, to be called
"Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers" program, or
L.A.R.K. For short.
In accordance with the guidelines of this new program,
we have decided to divert one terrorist and place him in
your personal care. Your personal detainee has been
selected and is scheduled for Transportation under heavily
armed guard to your residence in Toronto next Monday.
Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him
Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards
you personally demanded in your letter of complaint.
It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant
caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure
that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with
those you so strongly recommend in your letter.
Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope
that your sensitivity to what you described as his
"attitudinal problem" will help him overcome these character
flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems
as mere cultural differences. We understand that you plan to
offer counseling and home schooling.
Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in
hand-to-handcombat and can extinguish human life with
such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers.
We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these
skills at your next yoga group. He is also expert at
making a wide variety of explosive devices from common
household products, so you may wish to keep those items
locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend him.
Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your
daughters (except sexually) since he views females as
a subhuman form of property. This is a particularly
sensitive subject for him and he has been known to show
violent tendencies around women who fail to comply
with the new dress code that he will recommend as more
appropriate attire. I'm sure you will come to enjoy the
anonymity offered by the burka over time.
Just remember that it is all part of "respecting his
culture and religious beliefs" as described in your letter.
Thanks again for your concern.
We truly appreciate it when folks like you keep us informed
our fellow man. You take good care of Ahmed and remember.
We'll be watching.
I am given to understand that the above is a factual incident.
We do not know whether the lady accepted the offer but her letters to the government suddenly stopped coming, presumably she didn't accept the offer.
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