Many of the frustrations that we experience in life come from dealing with people. How often have we heard the statements ‘The job would be great if it wasn’t for the customers!’, ‘The boss is so difficult!’, ‘I can’t relate to so-and-so’? Getting other people onto the same wavelength as ourselves and persuading them to do what we want them to do is one of the most valuable

Skills in the workplace. Indeed, for any manager it is vital!

Motivate – Don’t Manipulate

Effective leaders know that in order to motivate a person it is important to find out what motivates that individual – money, promotion, job satisfaction, recognition and so on. What sort of lifestyle does the individual want? What does he or she really enjoy doing? What are his or her hobbies, pastimes, etc?

Having found out the answers, you need to show the individual how to get what he or she really wants.

Motivation is getting people to do something because they want to do it: manipulation is getting them to do something because you want them to do it.

The difference between good leadership and poor management is the difference between motivation and manipulation.

Emotional Intelligence

In order to motivate effectively you have to have good communication

with an individual, and you also need to be aware of emotional intelligence (EQ).

EQ involves not only understanding and managing your own emotions, but also, recognizing emotions in other people so that you can handle relationships. You need to have empathy with other people and also to be self-aware so that you are able to be sensitive to others.

The five characteristics of EQ

■ Self-awareness – to assess your abilities and your feelings,

because they guide your decisions.

■ Self-regulation – to make your emotions a spur, not a distraction. Self-regulation will also help you to hold out for better results.

■ Motivation – to provide the fuel that drives you in the pursuit of your goals. You must have goals and believe in them.

■ Empathy – to win support from others because you have tried to understand how they feel.

■ Social skill – to enable you to read social situations, to have manners, charm and grace and the quality of leading by example.

The most important aspect of effective communication is the ability to stimulate enthusiasm in others – from your own Dealing with People enthusiasm, the way you speak, the tone of your voice and your body language. Genuine enthusiasm is irresistible and very persuasive. We are all drawn to people who demonstrate passion and enthusiasm, be it on TV, radio, face-to-face at meetings, parties or wherever. Enthusiasm is like a magnet.

Praise where praise is due