Parenting and Grand-parenting:

As already been stated that parents are really overburdened in this stressful and demanding world, hence grandparents could very well take up the role to nurture their grandchildren. This is really mutually beneficial to children, parents and grandparents. Grandparents could give their children to develop the roots of  their own culture by telling  them stories of mythology,  historical facts, and real heroes of their life time. Here grandparents would  really enjoy and have fun with their grandchildren’s innocent activities and their curious queries and in  turn these young grand children would have a sense of  moral –ethical values and basic understanding of their culture.

Parenting today: Traditional or Globalization influenced :

Parenting today is really churned between the conservative and traditional parenting styles to global parenting styles and its influences. The best way to resolve this conflict is to be open and flexible to all sorts of views which appear helpful for the growth of your child. A parent might be able to adapt their own subjective style of parenting considering their own personality and temperament or nature of their children.

Child rearing practices:

There are three major kinds of child rearing practices:

1.      Authoritative Parenting:  This is a kind of approach with “Spare the Rod and Spare the Child”. Parents are the ultimate authority where the children have no say or expression of thoughts. This kind of parenting may lead to unhealthy childhood leaving permanent scars on their future adulthood as well where they live in constant fear of authorities, grow up  as anxious personalities, too submissive, lack proper confidence or may be exactly opposite of the above traits like when they are too much under this suppression may become extremely aggressive and revolting showing  their overcompensation and identifying with the authorities.

2.      Permissive Parenting: This is a kind of approach where parents are always up on their heels to fulfil their demands without following any consistency, order or rules. Such children grown up with this rearing style becomes highly obstinate, demanding,  emotionally shallow and highly impulsive..

3.      Democratic Parenting:  This is the healthiest parenting style where parents though in command to maintain discipline and law and order within the family (exactly like a democratic government), where children also have rights to express their views and freedom to choose according to the feasibility of the situation and also they are responsible of their duties (activities) suitable to their age. Such children develop into balanced personalities.

Eastern and Western perspectives:

Eastern perspectives are more focused towards directive, protective, over-involved, sentimental parenting and by and large authoritative. Western perspective of parenting are usually permissive, with lots of fun, main focus is  on individuality and independence. Democratic parenting styles are seen in both east and west in a different manner where east is more directive and supportive where west is more individualistic and more independent focused in their approach of parenting styles.

Good and bad parenting:

Good parenting is always a democratic approach with values, ethics, discipline blended with the decision making chances to kids with freedom of expression and  at the same time to have duties and responsibilities for its execution. Whilst bad parenting styles are over disciplinary/authoritative approaches, or over permissive parenting. The other bad parenting approaches include over-protectiveness, over involvement, leading to the damage of decision making and loss of confidence- always needing some dependence or crutches to move ahead.

 Effect of changing family structure on parenting: 

Joint or a nuclear family structure affects parenting. In a joint family there could be clashes and tensions if the views of parents and grandparents are discordant, then nuclear family appears to be beneficial. Whilst there are no clashes in terms of disciplinary approaches between parents and grandparents then joint family allows the child to have extra nourishing doses of grandparents nurturance.

 Teenage parenting and mental health:

Teenage is usually an age of conflict and confusion. The authority figures increase this confusion by telling their teenage children that “You are no longer a kid...” and just changing it after a while that “you are still a kid...”. The best method to avoid this confusion is to reframe the expressions like “You are still growing up and would be able to understand it better when you grow up little older...” or “You are now attaining the confidence like an adult in this ability...”. If these confusions keep on  hammering the adolescent the adolescents might be highly disturbed,distressed, under depression with low self esteem may be leading  to suicidal thoughts or actions, living in isolation or exactly opposite of it like too impulsive, fun-loving, irresponsible, careless, arrogant and aggressive individuals. All the adolescence mental health is definitely the by product of child rearing practices adopted by parents.

Parenting style and children’s academic performance:

Good parenting styles discussed above lead to the development of a confident child who is a decision maker and would definitely give his best performance according to his or her capacities. Besides that, parents and grandparents have to observe ad understand the child’s academic talents and abilities, child’s interests where the child could give his or her best after nurturing its abilities. Future career must be decided on the basis of these talents.

Dual-earner parents and mental health of children:

The families where both  parents are working must either take the shelter of their own parents and parent-in-laws or must send them into crushes for their best development rather than leaving them to be cared by in disciplined maids. Crushes are healthier in terms of wide variety of activities with their peers. It also helps them maintain good social relationships, helps to develop sharing and controlled fun activities in presence of an expert. Also, both working parents try to compensate the lack of time spent with their children with costly gifts or huge amount of pocket money which is against the healthy parenting and inculcating proper values for life and responsibilities along with  moral and ethical values.

3Ps: Parents, Peers and Positive life:

Healthy parenting leads to confident and proper selection of peers definitely leading to more positive life.

 Affluence as Poverty of Parenting:

Prosperity and wealth when compensated with parenting actually disturbs the disciplined parenting. Let me explain you with a case that never took any responsibilities and needed some kind of financial compensation for whatever he did on the name of his responsibilities. He is still suffering from financial dependence on his near and dear ones in  cases of emergency, and even though he earns well is not able to save anything for his family because he never could understand the value of money and the need of the responsibilities.

  Positive and negative parental discipline:

 As stated above too much of discipline is as harmful as the lack  of discipline. Hence, democratic parenting is recommended.

Positive Parenting Skills :

Positive parenting skills includes, care nurturance, security and protection, unconditional positive regard to the individuality of a child, also making the child aware of his rights along with  duties, and maintaining lots of patience in answering  their queries.

Siblings as Parents:

Elder siblings especially if there is a long gap between them have the healthier, more caring attitude towards the younger child. Similarly, the lesser the gap, the more would be the sibling rivalr amongst the elder kid.

The Single Parent:

The Single Parent is better than having no parents at all. Still, it creates problems for the understanding of the gender for the parent of the missing gender, adding to the stress and pressure to the already over burdened single parent.

Parenting your own parents:

Old aged people many a times need support and help as much as kids need. They need to be protected like young children and needs to be reassured for their confidence. The better you are in taking care or parenting your own parents, the more you would be returned in terms of their grandchildren’s care or your children’s care.

Commitments and benefits of raising grandchildren:

As stated above grandparents are highly benefitted while raising  their grandchildren eg: their grandchildren’s innocence and naughtiness might get back the smile on their tired faces and while taking care of their grand children, they could again find meaning in their life after retirement and could get benefitted from mutual love and affection and strong bonding within the families thereby resulting in good support system.

Grand-parenting by example:

Mr X now is a healthy adult who used to be cared by his paternal grandmother while his both parents were at work. Being the eldest sibling under the light of his grandmother’s stories he turned out to be the most nurturing and emotionally bonded within the family with highest regard for his dead grandparents and sufficient care and protection  towards his own parents. Also, he is especially nurturant towards his wife and young kids and he is though individualistic rarely gets hurt for male ego even when his equally good in professional status. He has strong moral, ethical, social and religious values as compared to his own siblings and his cousins within the same family. He rarely gets too emotionally disturbed where he could be asking for emotional nurturance from his near and dear ones and is able to deal with the most critically demanding  situations of his life.

Meaning in Family Life:

If three generations are bonded together, then the meaning of real nurturance and care for each other within the family is being reflected with a depth of understanding each other and respecting in terms of individuality and adjustment is obviously higher and easy as such roots have been already laid since beginning.

Last but not least, parenting and grand parenting is a need for your kids but it is mutually beneficial in  all ways and means. As the saying goes “ as you sow so  shall you reap”, so the more you invest emotionally and get bonded with your kids , of course in  a balanced-the better returns you would be able to reap at your ripe age.

URL : http://onlineconsultancy.blogspot.com