I fault in delay. I fault in response. I fault in delayed response for the past. I fault on many spheres.

But …. I do not fault in connecting with you.

My conditions as opposed to the one in Singapore have changed. Coming back has been getting sucked into the hailstorm, in work, in management, in new ventures, in matters of the family, in promotions of coming ventures and in a realm of limited sleep. This deprivation as we all know harms the thinking and the output, which in turn invites lethargy and complacency.

I lament the thought of not having been able to get back to you on 838485 and which now stands unattended for some days. I lament the fact that I have been unable to respond to the many comments that have been registered and I lament the fact that I am unable to concentrate with the intensity that I wish towards the writing of my blog.

But … we persevere and we struggle and we strive to not let continuity be disturbed, to not run away from issues and to be brave enough to face them and find a solution. And so here we are close enough to be near the time of the morning alarm to travel to the house of BB3, writing and connecting with the FmXt.

I have always held the memorabilia gifted to me by well wishers and fans to be of utmost importance. It has always been a labor of great love and affection, of hours spent in constructing that special card, that artifact, that painting to please and show affection to that special one that you have admired. Their proportion grows to such an extent that finding the right place for them has been a huge exercise. Many find pride of place in your immediate surroundings, many in and around the regions that you visit frequently and many just left to be languishing in anonymity. I hate that gifts and remembrances be left unattended and ignored, or even un acknowledged.

To those then that wish me and have not had response. To those that connect and have not received a reconnect. To those that wait in anticipation without word, may I just say that you are within my thoughts and not forgotten. It is but a state of mind that keeps me away for a while. When there is involvement in a project for which there is apprehension and uncertainty on the manner in which one shall be able to execute the job, then all else creeps in. It is difficult to keep ones mind separately trained on different aspects and yet be faithful to all. Giving the moment of truth to those connected shall indeed be always morally and technically correct, but most of the time there are flaws. The flaws play up due to the uncertainty. If one were to be good, all would be. The satisfactory completion of one, instills in us the desire to do well in all the others. Failure in one drives us down in the others and this syndrome prevails for a period that really ought not to have happened.

So the resolve really is that even when there is adversity, pain, disappointment, despair, we must continue to move on. Moving on changes a great deal of the physiognomy. A changed face brings on changed energy and we continue to scrape and scrub our way away from any adverse feel.

Its back tomorrow to the BB3, to summarize the week and eventually to decide through the process of public judgement, who shall remain and who shall be evicted. To meet and judge why this happened and perhaps through a series of conversations assess why is it that the people who stayed behind, perhaps had greater reason to stay behind.

All this and more tomorrow.

Balki and his wife came over with the rushes of ‘PAA’ and we watched a rough edit for its duration of just under 2 hrs. There will be surprises and shock as we view it turn by turn, but by and large we have a good film, bringing accolades to all those that were involved. In the noise and the bluster of others, there shall be here a calm. In the cluster of high end films, buying and shaping institutions merely by their worth in money would not be a safe decision.

Ayaaz Memon from DNA with whom I had a get together earlier, felt perhaps that there seemed to be far greater stress on economics in the business than the poetry and song. That collections and the flaunting of its monetary worth had left the Industry wondering whether all of it was indeed correct. I countered by saying that the old time method of family filming, brought us the jubilees. And jubilees then transferred to gross multiples of high end figures. This he mentioned with some concern, was the knowing whether money was becoming the more important player as compared to older times when content was supreme. Films were made for the box office and so money had to play an important part, but the difference was that the mode of calculation was such that no true picture of what facts were, ever made the spots that recorded film performance.

Suffice to say. Films were the only attraction then. Today it is different. The alternatives available race ahead. Television too which comes free of any major cost has become the potent contender and one that seeks recognition.

Someday there should be a show down and there will. Life moves in the fast lane. You either keep pace with what prevails, or be prepared to be run over. A stagnant creative mind is life’s biggest curse. If it is not oiled and moved about it shall rust and rot.

To this a salute. A salute then for challenge, for integrity and change. For an attempt at newer and fresh ideas to experiment with and the joy of its success.

‘PAA’ remains all that, as it stands today in incomplete form. A salute to change, to exemplary vision and exhaustive labor. In the cacophony a gentle flute. But one that blows with the power of a storm … !!!

Love and more ..

Amitabh Bachchan