When pain becomes excessive, you actually start feeling better. The extent is so immense that any further infliction can only come as one that eases than accelerate the circumstance.

Pressures of time and work perhaps have similar effect. When there is too much on the plate to see and oversee, the body and mind becomes complacent and peaceful. the anxiety actually vanishes away. You move about as a mechanical toy that has been wound up to a degree. A remote operator flicks a key to the left, another to the right and obediently the wrung up toy follows the instructions. I feel some similarity with that piece of toy. Wrung up to such an extent now that no emotion and feeling is getting registered, nor even is there a desire that it do.

The number of jobs and locations and different kinds of varied encounters during the course of a limited day, are attended to without resistance or question. There is no time to stop and reflect on what was just accomplished. There is only time to move on to the next and the next and the next …

I visit my Father’s works early in the morn. The 28th looms near and we need to do our best for the recitation. Nieces and nephews are in attendance and i stipulate to them the content of the evening and where they need to participate. Hardly is this over than a quick drive to BIG FM is undertaken and while you sit idle in the car for the traffic to allow you to move at speed and reach destination in time, you get perhaps that one little moment of reflection. A reflection to decide which of the works that you carry in the car these days as jobs to be undertaken, should one attend to. Traffic snarls in today’s times when underground rail lines are being facilitated and overhead monorails for the comfort and ease of travel for the common man, could well have meant that a quick trip to Delhi would have been better to undertake than sit motionless for hours to reach a destination that one would do in 5 mins.

So before the reception committee at BiG Fm can organize and mobilize the standard flowers of welcome you are well past them and into the radio studio, with efficient RJ’s that put me on live throughout the country. This is the new fascination that brings interest to me. Looking at these young operators, their efficiency and their speed, their presence of mind and quickness of spirit, fills me up with a million complexes. How and why is it that I cannot do what they are doing. Just witnessing their speed of thought makes you sit there dumbfounded. I must accept that what this generation practices, and practices so well, will always be a step ahead of us. Do not attempt to out bid them. Lie beside them in quiet but observant model and hope and pray that somewhere someone takes a look, albeit unconcernedly, and offers you a job, with the compliance of a snail out for lunch !!

Hardly had this come about and had been over than the management scuttles you out from a back looking like entrance to the next destination - the recording studio, to record several speeches of Auro for various TV and Radio channels. large sheets of paper are thrown in front of you as you settle down into the cold confines of the studio, where one has spent hours and days recapturing for posterity. Before the driver can park the vehicle for onward journey, you have completed the job and are rushing home to grab a bite and attend to frantic calls from Producer and Director on further promotional s … and so it is ..

As you devour the well cooked home food, you catch up on the score with SriLanka, as they tour India on Test. There is delight, as almost every player looks to reaching that golden figure of the century, and does and goes beyond - it is 400 odd runs and 2 golden gloves find themselves sitting in the pavilion - and Sachin has not even begun hitting the ball yet.

But enough of cricket and lunch and cleanliness matters. The pitch is priding itself by preparation. And tis’ time to prepare for the next meet - Ram Gopal Varma and his boys to set the promotional activities for ‘RANN’ and how they need for it to be hosted. Their interest though I must say is more keen to see the promos of, yes, Paa. While we discuss the pros and cons of Rann, Paa beckons to the wilds of their imagination. I slip away while they wait, to connect live for TV and radio and press through phone … and my dentures !!

An hour and half or two goes by and we are faced with what we must do for this film Rann. A scale is drawn up and a time frame set and then departure. I to the house to doll up .. Aishwarya waits to do the same so we can together go to the reception of Shilpa’s wedding.

And then after facing the multitudes of screaming TV and Press at nearby Hotel, it is back to Prateeksha and my FmXt.

It is not the physical rush of time throughout the day that you bring about to talk on. It is the love of the FmXt that finally ends a long day full of happy surprises.

How then is my FmXt doing ?? And does it still bother you on the pace of my work. But look at it from where this story started. When pain goes beyond reach it ceases to exist. When the pressure of a work schedule puts you beyond limits, the limits disappear … a fond remembrance of dear Tanaz and BiggBoss3. So fear not and worry not, for we thrive in diversity - a lovely statement if it could be made nationally sensitive - thrive in diversity !!

Ugly scenes on the TV mar the daily and collective morals of a nation that witnesses the outcome of the 26/11, looming large within a couple of days.

But we must not bend, we must not turn back and we must not stop — in this our relentless pursuit for those that sacrificed their lives for us .

My love,

Amitabh Bachchan