In the days that I find myself in the company of others, others that know me, but not of me, I find them often question me on my mechanics or my theory or my guile in facing accusation and controversy. Why is it that there is disbelief and doubt in the case of Mr Bachchan, yet nothing and no one, ever brings up questions to others - others, that at times have had bigger reason to be accused.

Many have looked upon it with question and many others with obvious glee. Many justify it and many throw doubt.

“ ’doubt is the father of invention’, says Galileo; yet ‘modest doubt is called the beacon of the wise’ - Shakespeare. “

I cannot philosophize which one and what is correct.

“I look to the philosophy of the Vedas at such times. If all possibilities may exist without excluding each other, wherein the universe is boundlessly various, then the principles of order and chaos are not what they may necessarily seem to us in the daily rush of our lives.

Order and chaos, strength and weakness, determination and uncertainty, success and failure: only when the living are in conflict with themselves, then can life realise its full value.

These opposites must be constantly revalued in questioning, for when, at what singular point, does one ultimately know what is order, what is chaos?

How often has a seeming weakness then proved a strength, and vice versa?

How many of us have found that determination has best flourished in the fertile ground of uncertainty?

At what singular point in time can we ever conclude what is really a success or failure?”

Can we ever have the answers to this ?

“Chaos can be redeemed that we may not fear it as a threat to life, for in Vedic myth, order cannot solely determine the ideal state: the act of creation must necessitate the transformation of order into chaos, so that we may re-form chaos anew into new order again.

This is the essence of change in the world. Meaning, action and consequence can never be fixed: they must be tirelessly recreated.”

“And so it has come to pass that failure has been one of the most surprising blessings of my life. If I had not failed I would not have come to know sage challenge in the fury of lived events. They would not have been seared into me for posterity; they would have not guided me since as faithfully.”

“Perhaps it could be said that I have endured through chronic reinvention, that ‘I conquered all odds to emerge stronger with each passing day’, but I have only done so due to some spectacular disasters.”

“In consequence, I have come to see criticism, both from myself as much as from others, as a commensurate blessing. It has provoked me to constantly reassess all that I ‘do, say and believe’. To question. To inquire further.

What with a life that bears such intense scrutiny of the smallest decision, it has made me come to truly understand that we put our life into every act that we do, however seemingly small or inconsequential. And as an individual, I have come to understand how small and inconsequential I am alone.”

“See here, on our own, we are mere fragments.

So it is, that chaos, weakness, uncertainty and failure have given me blessing, for without these, there would be no provocation to thought, to questioning, to inquiry.

Such provocation, it is the good life, one based upon the perpetual labour of critical reflection, for ‘the unexamined life is not worth living’.

With my limited natural intellect, it has only been the highest odds that have brought me the way that I have travelled.”

“Ultimately, the point of determination is the infinitely lengthy path of self-determination, that leads ever before, always prior to a determined destination, and ever after.

For at what singular point in one’s life would it ever be good and right to determine conclusively? It is our perpetual determination and perpetual self-determining that exist at one and the same moment, and neither can be fixed: they must be tirelessly recreated.

But from what?”

“It is time to talk of how Arjuna in the Mahabharatha felt before battle; his horror of the suffering and death ahead that brought doubt upon him. Stultified, he questions whether it is right to be concerned only with one’s own duty to promote a just cause, regardless of the consequences. In the end, in the face of all consequences, our moral self, our soul, is only answerable to itself.

The soul’s duty, its dharma, determines all. Our dharma is to the awakening of enlightenment.

TS Eliot translates well for us Krishna’s admonishment:

And do not think of the fruit of action.

Fare forward…

Not fare well,

But fare forward, voyagers.

There, that still point must be constantly re-discovered and new-found, ever looked for and after, each day anew. That is the point. There is the destination. This is my persistent faring.

“ Those of all the professional news media, we have much in common.

No wonder we sometimes don’t get on, but then again, there it is…

No matter what we do, even in the best of conscience, we are bound to offend someone, often each other.

And so we should: there are urgently legitimate concerns of impartiality, a healthy suspicion of unaccountable power, the need for greater transparency in the public realm… these things must be respectfully acknowledged by all of us for the sake of the health of our democracy, and we must endeavour to actively pursue these concerns ourselves, even when they challenge our own position directly, and without hospitality.

I press the issue: it is right for the public to suspect me, as they should of all those privileged with wide public voice, particularly so when they are not democratically elected.

I am not elected, at least not in an institutionalised sense: hence I must be held all the more accountable for it. I accept such harsh scrutiny and embrace its good cause.

I only asked the public to elect me once to the Lok Sabha, a long time ago . And many of you will know what a disaster that one was. Nevertheless, I envy our political representatives one thing: they can choose to stand down, or, be voted out of office for good.

I cannot seem to have either.

Private by nature that I am, and diffident at that, I would prefer a quieter life, but it has come to pass that this is not my prescribed dharma, my soul’s duty.

And you out there, Leviathan, giant, colossus media, you aren’t elected either.

Your greatest defence of authority, is also your greatest duty: it is the untrammelled Liberty enjoyed in a democracy in its manifold forms – freedom of speech; freedom of colloquy, public association, demonstration; freedom of private conscience. I have come to understand that the power of a vibrant civic culture and my identity as a citizen in this democracy is also my greatest defence.

Among you, I can speak freely, for you will understand my meaning, fellow voyagers.

I shall out myself, because it is timely: my cause is apolitical - as I reiterate endlessly - but in a particular way. The human being is indelibly a ‘political animal’, and so I am: my political convictions run as deep as any. But how Aristotle spoke of it, he has since often been misunderstood. When he spoke of the human being as a ‘political animal’, he spoke with irony: he meant that human beings can only awaken to meaning as a collective. That is what makes them human.

What I insist upon, again and again, exhaustively and strenuously, is that my convictions are forever unaffiliated to any particular political party. I support all democratic political parties, for I believe that we must be allowed to differ infinitely. I am for reasoned disagreement, reasoned argument, reasoned discussion, reasoned persuasion; its inspired transformations.

When our differences are well-harnessed, then we will be at our most dynamic and creative: our most civilized selves. This is fraternity. It is the trust of friendship.

My party is civic culture. My party is the differences within it. My party is questioning and inquiry. My party is my country. My party is the largest argumentative democracy on earth. My party is the common good of a querulous humanity.

My political agenda is its flourishing, as is it yours. I am for its true self-determination. I am for its ever-unfolding re-creation. I am for its perpetual awakening. And I am ever vigilant in it.”

“In the private realm as much as the public, I am one and the same. I follow this ideal.

I believe that we can only truly find ourselves, our dharma, the duty of our souls, our path to enlightenment, as a collective. I believe that we can only perpetually renew its self-determinations as a collective. I believe that this voyage is the very thing that determines the nature and course of our collective. I believe that the overcoming that such determination brings can thus only be understood collectively. I can’t do it on my own.”

“Singular and fragmented, we are lost; that we are brought together at our best to inspire each other to our best selves, this constant return to my fellow human beings is the very source of my awakening, strength, courage, endurance, path.

My determination is with you, ‘against all the odds’.

The strength I have to emerge stronger is with you, ‘against all the odds’.”

And so it is that I must return to you in all causes. So it is that I return to you for questioning and debate. To seek, to understand, to revalue and assess. To question and be questioned. And so it is that you do and must.

Which is why we are who we are - an integrated collective of minds, intelligent and obtuse, sincere and critical, caring and stubborn. But always, always in the spirit of collective thought.

Our existence in fragmentation is a lost cause. Our fragments must become a whole. One whole is one strength. One strength is sufficient to be our perennial defense.

The strength of that defense is all that is required to face off opposition. When I have this on my side, do I really need explanation ? My dharma is my conscience in its purity. All else needs to be finding suitable space in obscurity.

For long there have been questions to explain and give comment on a host of occurrences. But they all come from sources that do not possess that basic qualification of authority.

By what authority do they question ?

Who gave it to them ?

Why and how can they exercise authority when they are not authority themselves ?

In a democracy, how has one institution been given this self appointed position to question ?

Space time and unscheduled curriculum give me reason to contemplate … and to quote from the speech at Langkawi on ‘Determination’.

Who would ever imagine that this is what goes through the mind as you wait to board a flight for Colombo, my next destination - the official press conference for IIFA for the year 2010 !!

Does imagination and thought have any relevance past midnight ??

Amitabh Bachchan