DAY 910 Amitabh Bachchan Blog
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DAY 910 Amitabh Bachchan Blog

Happy Dussehra Victory of good over evil What a day !!! Just unbelievable !! Back from another day of episode shooting at KBC and it is all happening there ! Exhausted and drained, not so much physically but a strange kind of energy loss. Television I have said on many occasions has been an experience that can simply take away all that you possess as a performer. Your creativity, your strength, your power to physicality - just about everything. The speed of thought, the speed of action and the speed of instancy are all rolled into one big effort and then some more. It is a funny feel at the end of the day. Technically one should be ready to hit the bed and get horizontal. That is a normal response to the kind of day we have. But it does not translate into that. For some reason you tend to still live with what transpired the entire day and that may not be the most ideal situation for getting flat. And so thank God for this … this wonderful platform where we get an opportunity to let off … to think aloud .. to reminisce … to comment and debate … or then perhaps to just allow ourselves to dwindle in the morass of our own doing ! I must admit I am at a loss how one could describe the situation. But coming back to an empty home after such a day can be even more traumatic than the day itself. Jaya has left for Bhopal to be with her Mother during the auspicious Ashtami and Durga Pooja, so prominently celebrated among the Bengali’s. Shweta and the little ones went back to Delhi - the holidays for these auspicious days and the Common Wealth Games being over and Abhishek and Aishwarya were away in town attending a Garba festival. The chatter and the gay hilarity of Agastya and Navya being no longer there, causes a vacuum. One very difficult to fill. Kids have an incredible quality of turning situations quite the other way, through their conversations, their observations, their imitations of situations and most of all their unique presence at any given time. Hopefully it shall not be for too long. The National Awards ceremony will be held in Delhi on the 22nd and that would give us an opportunity to be all together again, when we shall be there at Vigyan Bhavan , Abhishek and I, to receive our respective awards from the President of India. But I am way behind in acknowledging all the greetings for the birthday and for this I must profusely apologize. I feel a sense of discomfort when I fall behind and shall continue to be in such state until I can fullfil the task of my personal response. I do await that one day or a couple of days when I am free of the studio, so that I can accomplish this pending work. My bedroom looks like it was hit by a storm. Books papers odds and ends now finding desperate space on the floor. And I do know that one concentrated day at this would clear it up. But question is when ?? Let us get away from the domestic and dwell a bit on how the days unfold. The film shoot for POWER progresses steadily. After a short burst of KBC I shall be back at it again and there is a likelihood that before the month of November is out I should be done with all my solo work. The combinations should follow in the following months with my other colleagues - Sanjay Dutt, Ajay Devgan and Anil Kapoor .. My mid January 2011, Prakash Jha should be ready to start on ‘Arakshan’ and soon after on ‘Budda’ for Puri Jagganath. The other projects shall be considered simultaneously and so subject to time and availability prevailing it looks like its going to be a busy year. Being occupied is a deliberate effort. Stop and the whole world stops. Well relatively. It is essential that we move and move on. In many respects it is almost cathartic that we do. I read with glee some columnists that get critical of my excessive work procedures - films, tv, adds., ramp, music concerts, recitals … Why on earth would it bother anyone if I was busy ? Yes there are those that are of age younger, and take on much less. True and perhaps prudent. But they are they, and I am I. If I enjoy what I do, and I do, why not do, health permitting. Where is it qualified that those that are a whisker away from 70, should not be doing what others think should not be done. So long as the person that deploys or employs me is not concerned or too anxious, I do not see any reason in me desisting. May be they are right in saying there is too much of me around. But too much for whom ? If they are not happy seeing me, they should make concerted efforts not to. My job is to be there at the best of my ability. Your job is to accept or reject me. That freedom no one wishes away from you. Do not then, in turn, take away that freedom from me to present myself. Present myself in whatever form I choose, for that shall always be my prerogative. Your prerogative was to allow yourself the liberty to patronize me or my work. You chose to reject it fine. I shall make efforts to improve. But how am I to take the decision that you do not wish to see me in many and different formats in as many different modes as can be. That would be an infringement of my basic liberty in a democratic and liberal society. I must exercise my right to present. You must exercise your right not to if you so desire. But do not tell me how much of me I should do or show. You do not wish to see, fair enough, do not. But why generalize on an individual right. And hey ! Where were you when I was struggling to survive, to present. How come you you never guided me then on how I should conduct myself. How come when the accolades have by the grace of the Almighty started my way, that you choose to conduct my career ? Odd is it not ? Yaa !! Go to rest now, dearest ones ~ ’tis late and I must awake early to smell the dawn and drink the nectar of my own indulgence. So help me God !! Tomorrow the festival and auspicious day for Dussehra ~ when good prevails over evil ~ when Raavan shall be overcome by Ram … may this day and many more symbolically remove all evil from your life and construct a day free from all that is unethical, false and untrue ~ May good prevail over evil !! Amitabh Bachchan
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