I wait in the vanity for the sun to set, for the darkness to appear, for the lights to be in place and for the next scene to be shot. The beard is still on and the wig. Now more scraggy and disheveled than before. It hurts and pinches and scratches and invites unwanted fake hair to enter the crevices of the face, in a most irritable manner !

So.. to keep my mind off it..I write as I wait. This is more pleasurable and divine.

Anil Kapoor calls. I had missed his call and message while in Paris. He is in Delhi with the cast and crew of ‘SlumDog’. He invites me to the Premiere of the film in Mumbai. I explain to him my inability due to my travel and work schedule, but take the opportunity to clear the air on the media twisted comments, wrongly attributed to me, via the blog. I ask to speak to Mr Danny Boyle and he readily organizes that within minutes. Mr Boyle is gracious and complimentary to me and my work. I explain the entire misinterpretation to him and he has a good laugh over it. I extend to him my apologies if this uncalled for misdemeanor has caused him and his film any anguish and grief. He understands and acknowledges my calling him. I needn’t have he says. He draws my attention to the film being in a sense a tribute to my presence in it and expresses a desire to meet me on his next visit to the country. I wish him to read the contents of my blog and my subsequent clarity on it. He would love to he says and we disconnect with the promise of meeting up during subsequent visit.

I send the extracts of my blog and related matter to Anil Kapoor and Mr Boyle.

Media shall look upon this as a retraction, due to the onslaught it created and the fear of negativity on my account. But what else can they do. They created an incorrect headline, propagated it through all the mediums possible and shall now sit back and enjoy the fruits of its effect. A correction or any attempt in seeking or extending clarification, shall never be entertained by them. How can they ? It would show them up in bad light. It would dent their credibility.

Reactions of others come from the headline created by media. No one has the temerity to read the blog to judge whether what media wrote was justifiable or not. Once a headline always a headline. It has been carved on stone for eternity. From Bofors to Abhishek’s marriage to the recent land issue, it has been a constant and repeated castigation on my character, attitude and position with a hostility and a rancor, that has defied reason; even in the minds of senior and seasoned celebrities of the journalistic world !

Not until we moved the Royal Courts of Law in the United Kingdom for defamation and won on the Bofors matter, not until I had to personally walk into the offices of all the prominent newspapers to clarify the hysterical fallacies surrounding my son’s marriage to Aishwarya, not until I moved the Supreme Court of India and won judgement by the honorable justices on the farm land matter, did the vitriol diminish !

And even as I write, I can feel the pencils being sharpened to attack again, not just what appears here, but some new and grand pasture for them to gloriously feed on and for me, on bended knee, to clear up the waste.

What is it I have often wondered that prompts them to put me on this ‘pedestal’ ?

Some wise advice, reiterates to me and my family, the complete absence on our part, of building relations with the press; of nurturing them, entertaining them. But how does one do that ? Or better, why should one do that ? Would that not desecrate the very institution that prides itself in its nobility and its tenets of fairness and truth. Were I to entertain them to solicit favorable reportage, knowing the short comings that I possess, would it not be against their most prized and hallowed principles ?

Cynics shall, in the comfort of being an uninvolved party, pass verdicts. What do you expect Mr B ? Stop being a celebrity if you do not have the guts to face all this. You deserve this. You your family and your entire tribe. Comes with the territory ol’ man. Take it or leave it !

Conversely, yes, we have friends in the media. But those that are not in similar category then feel alienated and become even more vociferous. I never believed this until I experienced it myself. During my visit to the offices of a prominent daily and in the presence of the entire three score editorial royalty, I was accused of contributing to just one particular ‘friend’ and my partiality towards unnamed individual.

So I would believe, that being media and being a friend would never be able to reach a situation where, in most relationships, two points could amicably meet. I would in a friendship have the benefit of trust and secrecy and confidentiality. But these are the very attributes that form the much required ‘information’ for the professional journalist. I could confide in journalist friend of a secret that needed to be honored and kept safe. But in not using that ‘information’ as part of his professional job, would he not be dishonoring the very codes of conduct of his profession ?

And… what of the devious portents of such occurrences !

Knowing that ‘friend’ journalist is sympathetic and true to his profession in disseminating every information I would give him, could it not prompt me to misinform him, to deliberate a personal cause, favorably ?

There can be no end to debate on this.

I am summoned for the shot. The night has appeared. I am to be drenched in fake rain for the scene. Right now I am drenched in the causes and discourse that I have been engaged in so far and leave you with some quotes that have been sent to me by extended family member on the blog -

(raj.iyengar@hp.com)

“The advertisements are the most truthful part of a newspaper. ” - Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)

“Four hostile newspapers are more to be feared than a thousand bayonets.” -
Napoleon I (1769-1821)

My love and my respects to all that sent me encouragement and sympathy and understanding. I do not call you my extended family for nothing -

Always -

Amitabh Bachchan