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Man Proposes & God Disposes...
We are all quite familiar with this saying. Probably, most of us take it as a matter of fact unless some are put to test, which I have just gone through at serious personal loss and then learning the truth.
In a span of last 20 days, situations have changed so abruptly that still I am dazed and coping with the impacts of the events, while searching some answers from life. On 11th May evening, I returned home in the evening ( around 6.20 pm) like others days to find my wife lying unconscious on bed and then starts the turmoil. Getting a doctor at hand is so troublesome that hour, though I live near Sion circle (Mumbai) for ages at a central location, but things have changed rapidly in recent times. She being diabetic with high BP and recent bout of soar throat and fever, was alone at our only son was out of Mumbai then. The person I talked to, from the office in the morning was weary but otherwise fine and so did find our watchman during morning hours, I could not imagine such a crisis can happen, which was unfolded when I could bring in a nearby consulting doctor with his assistant from the Polyclinic. He advised to rush her to a ICU since chance for survival is grim and I could take her with the watchman on a cab ( no ambulance available less than half an hour nor I can drive car and park at that hour with the mess of flyover construction and traffic jam...this now Mumbai life...I hate to say!) to Keki Mehta Cardiac Hospital near Gandhi Market and within next 20 minutes, she was declared dead. It seems her cardiac arrest took place around 3-4 pm. That night around 3 am after funeral with help of my neighbours ( the spontaneous help I received made me so much grateful to each of them ...plus side!) I could take her to the pyre as last journey together, I just acted along with events. Several nights, when I did not get to sleep, I had been thinking to find the answer where I went wrong.
On Sunday 17th early morning I took her last remains from the crematorium and drove directly to Nashik with my son, nephew and sister for immersion. The fallacy is that while alive, I could not take her out of Mumbai for some time in stead of several plea due to my work priorities and now I had to do so. Just before the final rites on the 22/23rd, on mid night of 21st, I had serious dehydration and collapsed at bed room door. Next morning the doctor administered five intra-veinous injections as I needed to be ready for the occasion with my sprained right foot. Fortunately, the rites are conducted without further hitch. On 26th, when I went for the x-ray of the foot which swelled, assuming it to be a sprain, it turned out to be fracture of three inner fingers. Now, I am laid in cast at home for several weeks.
Now, when I reflect on these events in rather immobile state, when the mind works calmly, I feel, the Law of Karma really prevails, since I am almost a witness to these events, which moved so fast like picture frames that I could not do anything of my own to prevent. This is when I find the greatness of Srimad Bhagavad Gita....its universality and wealth of wisdom....that can be the best solace to anyone like me, since it is the Truth of LIfe !
The underlying message that I learnt and like to share with one and all, please check out the priorities in Life and do not defer if you can manage to do today, since past is gone and future is unknown ! Idamastu...as said in our scripture in Sanskrit.....live with present and every moment of it !!
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