The most complicated relation in this world to understand is how I would like to term it.

I don’t know how the other species maintain such relationships among themselves and I don’t even have any intentions to try and understand that, but I wonder if they have such complex relationships.

Truth they say is greater than God, sadly I haven’t seen a single person in this world who would be ready to accept the most simplest of truths, may be my understanding of it is debatable.

For instance calling a spade a spade can be real unpleasant and would put even the most powerful person whoever he might be in trouble. Dressing it up has always been the best way out.

I was going through one of the innumerable books on how to make friends and be liked by people around, in other words to be social, i wonder if this topic does require being written about, later i came to know that it was a bestseller.

According to the author, its not too difficult to make friends, you just have to follow his "Mantra"

Patient listener: Some people never get tired of speaking nonsense, and if you want to or in other words if you need to maintain a good relationship with them you better sit quietly and listen to whatever he has to say, it doesn’t matter how irrational it might be.
Never Argue: During some of these stupid conversations if you do realize that the other person is totally wrong, you better don’t point it out; rather if he calls a dog a donkey agree to that.
Appreciation: On top of that you better find something appreciable in him and tell it to him, one word of appreciation is enough to put him on seventh heaven
Dance to his tune: The last and final blow to win him over completely, speak what he wants to listen not what you feel is right.

The rest of the tricks that he has mentioned in that book revolve more or less around these same lines, and as I am not trying to write a review on his book I wont elaborate on those topics, what I fail to understand though is why do we have to follow these things at the first place, this is a dreadful disease which we knowingly succumb to.

What’s the point of following these rules when at the end of the conversation neither the person who made a point and received accolades for it, nor the person who pretended to have understood the point and appreciated it believe there’s any truth in it.

Take the instance of any relationship for that matter. They say the foundation of any relationship rests on the pillars of Trust, Love and Faith. But does anybody understand the meaning of these words, Do we try to observe these qualities of unwavering faith, selfless love or for that matter uncompromising trust.

We can’t or may be we won’t, because these qualities require not only a strong conviction from our side but also an open minded listener.

A superior at work might say that he is open to a frank opinion or a feedback from his juniors, but can he really have a good sound sleep if one of them points out a flaw in his work.
A wife might say that the best thing that a husband can do to express his love for her is if he would give her a frank opinion about the new recipe she had tried for him, but can she take it if he says that it tastes awful.
My girlfriend might even decide to breakup with me if I would tell her how fat she looks in her new dress.

In most cases the person asking for a feedback knows pretty well that someone might point out a glitch, and at the same time feels disheartened if that is pointed out.

Most of us feel that there is nothing that can be done in this regard because its next to impossible to change how the other person reacts, yes very true, so the best thing to do would be to dress it up nicely and present it in an acceptable way – blunder.

Once we do that, there is one more human tendency that comes into the picture, Expectation. We expect the favor to be returned maybe not from the same person in question but from a different person, maybe from my juniors when I become a Manager, from my next girl friend if not from the present one.

So what is the solution to this problem, in my opinion the best thing to do is to clean ones own backyard first before bothering about the filth in the neighborhood. That might be too much of an asking, because this might give rise to one more serious issue, the ‘what’s there in it for me’ syndrome or may be ‘what do I get in return’ syndrome, well, maybe in the short term nothing, as for the long term, well that only time will say.