5 reasons to love ‘Slumdog Millionaire’

1.‘Slumdog’ is an editing marvel; the opening sequence, in which the boys are being chased by the pot-bellied Mumbai cop, is done with the deftness of a Sachin Tendulkar straight drive.

2. The crowd sequences are elegantly shot. The Victoria Terminus scenes look as if they were shot in a mega-set, with professional extras for “passings”. The child artistes have done their job well!

3. ‘Slumdog…’ has Hollywood thinking the Bollywood way!

4. The narrative skeleton of this award winner is unique, and that is precisely what sees it through the vagaries of some really sloppy screen-writing.

5. It feigns to show “the real India” to the world!!!

6 reasons to hate ‘Slumdog Millionaire’

1.‘Slumdog Millionaire’ is not a -Feel-Good Film, as is being touted by many. It is a Goody-Goody Film.

2. ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ speaks of an Indian slum, where a third standard boy is expected to study ‘Three Musketeers’ (the hardbound original!!!). It speaks of a place where there is this airborne thing known as “Amitabh Bachchan Ka Helicopter”. It speaks of a place where a reality show is shown live on television, wherein the host and the participant go peeing during Commercial breaks! It says India is a place where cops subject “slumdogs” to Third Degree, because they have “answered all the questions on KBC” and have won a million bucks because “You cheated”. Irfan Khan, one of the ‘Slumdog’ actors, calls this “realism”!

3. ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ features monstrously clichéd dialogues such as “Come to my camp; You are my enemy’s enemy, and an enemy’s enemy is a friend.”

4. Here is a graveyard of humour. Special reference to the scene where Jamal Malik, a third standard drop-out, narrates the tale of Shah Jahan and Mumtaz to a US couple who mistake him for a certified guide. He refers to Shah Jahan as “Khurram” (a name that even our great historians would take time to relate to) and proceeds to narrate a spoof-y tale regarding the Taj! Danny Boyle really wants riotous laughter, here!

5. ‘SM’ is such a hopeless amalgam of poorly-written scenes that it is impossible to sit through this film and not throw oneself back to the 1970s’ Bollywood, where such scenes were carried out with conviction if not technical brilliance, in a far superior fashion. Watch some Manmohan Desai, Mr. Boyle!

6. Everything about ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ is so below the belt that, being an Indian viewer, I can give this film only four stars, as in