When did this happen? How did this happen? There was a time when we didn’t have to prove anything to anybody. We were just a kid, happy in our lives. All we had to do was get up in the morning, eat, play, have a nap, eat play and sleep again. The only difference was that in the morning we would play with our mothers and in the evening with our dads and Babloo or Chintoo who lived in our building. And today, even a kid is busy competing with his friends. “Babloo can sing so many rhymes. What can you sing?” or “Chintoo can say from A to Z, what are you doing?” When did this happen? How did this happen?

There was a time when nursery schools were run in our building by our neighbor aunty. All we had to do was open up our doors and go to the flat right beside our house. As for registration, all our moms had to do was talk to her friend, “Hey Lata, can I send my little one from tomorrow? Really? Thanks so much yaar!” And today, we have to plan a year in advance. We have to take tours of ten different schools just to narrow down on the three best schools in the neighborhood! Are the toilets clean? What is the student-teacher ratio? Is it in a safe neighborhood? Is the school well-ventilated and well-protected? Are the teachers polite and do they smile? And that’s just the beginning! The real part starts after that? When did this happen? How did this happen?

There was a time when school admissions involved taking guidance from a neighbor. “Oh, did your son like that school? Oh, really? The teachers are good? Ok, I’ll send my son/daughter next year.” Now, we just can’t help wondering, “Ok, maybe it was good enough for their child. But, is it good enough for our child? After-all, it is their future, isn’t it?” When did this happen? How did this happen?

There was a time when teenagers worried just about their homework, exams and marks. Another important worry for them was, “Does he/she like me? Do I look good?” Today, they break their heads over this mind-blowing competition, “Oh, he scored more than me? What will the teacher think? What will my parents say?” If somebody gets admission in a “good’ college, “Oh my god, he’ll be a success and I’ll be a failure!” Not to mention the other more scary worries, “That guy looks scary? Is something wrong with him? I hope he’s not going to shoot anybody!” “I know he likes me, but I don’t. I hope he won’t cause any harm if I say no.” When did this happen? How did this happen?

There was a time when entering the real world was just a scary feeling. People were worried about getting good jobs, doing well in their career and taking care of their families. Today, it is a nightmare! It’s not enough to get a good job; it has also become a matter of survival of the fittest. It is not enough to be good at your job; you also have to be smart. You can’t trust anybody but yourself as everybody is out to get everybody else. The new age saying goes, “Keep your enemies closer than your friends!” So maintaining relationship with your enemies is more important than your friends! When did this happen? How did this happen?

There was a time when parents spent everything they earned on their children. The idea was that their child would take care of them when they become old. But today, it makes sense for parents to save for their retirement as they could never be sure what would happen when their kids grew up. When did this happen? How did this happen?

Competition has become the name of the game. We are competing for everything under the sun … for our parent’s attention, for our teacher’s attention, for our friend’s attention, for our career, for our friends, for our children, for our government’s attention, and even for our own attention!

So, my dear God, coming back to my original point …. I’m confused! Where was I when all of these changes were happening? What was I doing while people everywhere were adapting to these changes? Why do I find it difficult to keep pace with everybody? There was a time when I was told that I should follow my instincts. And today, when I want to do that, the entire world tells me that my instincts are wrong? So, what should I do now? Follow my instincts or follow the world, as right has suddenly become wrong and wrong has become right.

With love

Forever Confused.

Sangi

Posted originally at http://sanghouston.sulekha.com