Start by thinking about them and yourself. Have you shown the necessary tact when dealing with your partner; perhaps something you have done inadvertently has only put more oil on the fire? This may have left her feeling weakened. You may not see what you have done as being very significant, but it clearly was to her.

Take a good look at yourself to see what you must do to improve yourself, particularly in the areas of self control and understanding your ex. You may have to seek some counseling to help you learn how to be more sensitive to your partner's desires. You will have to be more open to being criticized and admitting that you may not always possess the right answers to your joint problems. If you want to get your lover back, you are going to have to be more sensitive and learn to show some tenderness.

Whatever your lover is feeling, you must accept that is very important to them. You must come to them tenderly and console them when they are troubled. If your partner gets cross don't react. Stay calm as getting emotional will certainly not help you get your ex back; in fact it will separate you further. You must learn how to help them heal themselves and you must leave them the time and space they need to do so. The tenderness you impart is often not physical; it comes from your partner being able to see that you are there for them.

There are times for trying to force people to act with a little common sense and others for displaying tenderness and understanding. You have to learn to recognize each of these different moments and be able to adapt to each of them in the best way possible. Real love means the ability to respond to matters that you may personally see in a different light. If you want to get your lover back, you will have to modify certain of your attitudes. Although you may not be a person of great tenderness, you are going to have to learn and make an effort if you are going to be succeed to get your lover back.