I remember the days when I was young and I was taught to say “Please” whenever I wanted something, “Thank You” whenever I got something and “Sorry” when I did something wrong that adversely affected others. I was also taught to respect elders and always address them politely and with a respectful appendage such as “Sir” or “Madam” if need be or “Mr.” or “Mrs.” as the case may be.

I remember having read during my schooldays an essay written by some eminent writer of a bygone era whose name I now fail to remember that “Please” and “Thank You” were lubricants which made the journey of life smooth and pass without any hindrance. I therefore made it such an ingrained habit that I would say these words sincerely whenever I needed or got something.

Now I am old and a lot of water has flown under the bridge but I continue to stick to my upbringing of saying, “Please” and “Thank You” for any and everything, which I need or get and “Sorry” whenever I trouble others. Times have changed and now I find that these words instead of being a lubricant have become a major irritant in my life and my frequent use of these words has caused a lot of pain and grief in my life.

Let me tell you of an of instance when my usage of the word “Please” and “Thank You” was misconstrued as a sign of weakness and not understood as a sign of civilised behaviour. I remember the case of the Chaiwallah in my office who used to serve me tea in the mornings and afternoons during all my working days. Initially he was very respectful and served me tea with great deference while I for my part used to say “Thank You” for the service provided by him. In course of time this routine of mine gave the Chaiwallah the impression that he was doing me a great favour and he completely forgot or preferred to ignore that he was merely doing his job. The Chaiwallah then went around the office stating that I was a wimp and that I would do anything that he wanted me to do. He even went to the extent of accepting a bribe from someone who wanted a favour from me and was ultimately exposed when I did not grant that favour to that someone.

Having dwelt on my nature and habit of saying “Please” and “Thank You”, I would also like to dwell upon the nature of others who do not use these words. I was traveling in a train on a long journey sometime ago and being terribly bored with nothing to do but look out at the dry terrain during a period of drought; I bought a newspaper to check out what was happening to this world of ours and had hardly begun reading the newspaper when a fellow passenger rather rudely pulled away the news paper from my hands on the pretext of showing me something interesting in it and continued to read it for more than an hour while yours truly waited patiently until unable to withstand it any longer, I asked him if I could please have my newspaper back. The fellow passenger then condescended to hand it back as if he was doing me a great favour by doing so.

There are many such instances which come to my mind but the one that easily takes the cake is the instance which happened in my local bank where I was waiting to withdraw some cash when a young guy came up to me and upon seeing the pen in my pocket stretched out his hand and rather rudely and bluntly demanded, “Pen”. Realising that he wanted to borrow my pen, I took it out of my pocket and handed it over to him who grabbed at it rather impolitely and went to a nearby table to write out a cheque or some such thing that he wanted to write. After having written the same he added salt to my injury by pocketing the pen and proceeded to walk out of the bank and I had to run behind him to get my pen back from him. The young man was unperturbed and handed over the pen without the slightest trace of regret or remorse that he had forgotten to return the same.

Another such instance which comes to my mind happened when I was boarding a train at the railway station and a fellow passenger who was carrying a heavy steel trunk inadvertently let it slip out of his hands and dropped it right on my left foot. The fellow was nonplussed about the whole thing while I stood howling and hopping in pain. To add salt to my injury the same fellow passenger had his berth adjacent to mine and I poor sob had to spend two nights on board the train to Delhi with that cursed fellow who every now and then would look at me and then turn around to his friend who was traveling along with him and boast about how considerately he had dropped the suitcase on my foot rather than on my head. Not for once did the word “Sorry” slip out of his oral orifice and his body language throughout the journey remained unapologetic.

This is the kind of society in which we currently live my friends and if you still value the old courtesies and civilized behaviour of yesteryears be assured that you will be considered stupid as in a fool, a dumbo or a jerk. It is not just lack of “Please” and “Thank You” that I mourn about for they are only the symptoms of a greater malady which has befallen our Society. This malady has been triggered by various factors and the problem has been further heightened by the various media, which have encouraged and portrayed rude and arrogant behaviour as a virtue rather than a vice.

Parents today encourage their children to be aggressive for only the aggressive can survive in the corporate jungle. In fact we are back to the Darwinian concept of the survival of the fittest and that civilized or polite behaviour is a sign of weakness and that we should not permit our children to become weak and polite. In fact mothers today are themselves rude and aggressive and it is but natural that their children should strive to become an image of their parents. The ultimate bottom-line is that in today’s world courtesy does not pay.

People today have confused aggressiveness with being rude and selfish. One has to be an aggressive go-getter to succeed and I am in agreement with that but it definitely does not mean that one should be selfish or rude. The problems that our beloved country is facing today are all due to selfishness and lack of concern for others. Only when we empathise with others and show our concern for them can we as a nation claim to be fully civilized.

Therefore my dear friends do unto others, as you would wish them to do unto you and the world will definitely be a better place to live in.