In the Indian cultural milieu, we are exposed to "heroism" from our most impressionable young age till we get buried or burnt.  Lord Rama is a hero because he fought against his worst enemies under such adverse circumstances, won so many Rakshasas and moved constantly forward towards his goal of reclamation of Sita from Ravana.  There is a lot of intense emotion with which we narrate these stories - sometimes making late Ramanand Sagar pray for another stint.   We do the same even as we read out to the kids at home, an episode in the life of Mahatma Gandhi or Abraham Lincoln.  Was Alexander the Great a leader or a hero...this is for the reader to answer.

Many child psychology researches have reported that Children learn almost 78%of what they need to learn for their life by the time they are eight years old. It is just then that the images of our epic and folk heroes get embedded in their mind - so do the heroes of our movies.  It is so fascinating, the way we narrate the stories to a young mind that we glorify the "hero" in Rama but miss out on the "leader" in him.  Ravana is a "villain" but there is a leader with a lot of vitues in him too. 

As kids grow up in these circumstances, the ability to appreciate the difference between a Hero and a Leader takes time and only when they  enter the portals of an organisation of any genre - Political, Business or Social - they start identifying the subtle difference.  I know of a hero, who as a branch head, in one of the earlier organisations where I worked, contributed to the growth of business really fast with his smart glib talk but could not hold on to people.  Quick growth of an organisations means a lot of work for the people in the orgnisation.  Soon after, the organisation desperately needed a leader.  Someone who would hold on to people, give them a pep talk now and then.  Take them out for lunch, stay back with them late evenings when there was too much work as the business was growing and lead them in such a way that he virtually became the patriarch of the team.  These types are very few to see and if they are there, they are highly successful. 

A hero is someone who has a mission to achieve.  He has to fight all odds and complete his mission successfully.  A leader champions a 'cause'.  He supports a 'cause' this cause is greater than his life.  A great multinational organisation sent out a clear message to all its aspiring Senior Executives that the organisation needs 'Leaders' and not 'Heroes'. The executive who had just won a multimillion dollar account for the company was a bit worried.  The essence of the communication is not that winning big accounts are less encouraged but the organisation wants to build leadership for the longer term. 

So what do we do - do we teach leadership to our kids and spoil the glory of the tale...that is being derisive. But groom your kids to be leaders.  Teach them interdependency.  Scoring high marks makes them competitive and drives them to become heroes.  Push them to play in teams.   Allow them to learn leadership.  Teach them winning is important but not everything.  Allow them to lose.  Let them learn from their mistakes and pass their learning.  Put them into creative pursuits.  Creative pursuits help them think out of the box.  Helps them come up with solutions.  A leader needs to find acceptable solutions that too quickly.  Any solution is not acceptable to a team... Teach them the art of listening.  Let your kid listen to the group.  Great leaders are best listeners. 

Teach them to complain less but to communicate the point across effectively to control behaviour.  Train them to wait and take their share.   This helps build their emotional quotient.  If you are rich, take them on a trip to make them feel life among the deprived.  If you are deprived teach them self- sufficiency.  Let the kid learn that it is important to be Trustworthy come hell or high water.  Because, people develop trust in a person who stands by his word and his commitment to his team's goals.   Teach them to be respectful and be respected.  Only if they accomodate each others views and respond to them they will win respect.  Let them learn to respect themselves. Let them learn to put other's self - respect ahead of their own in their interactions.  That way we can minimise hurt and disharmony in society.  Teach them that the end is equally important as the means.   Because winning by any other means would not stand the test of time - many international sports champs had to return their medals as their means of winning was not fair.  Teach them the need to be assertive and know their rights.     It is important to be assertive to claim your right and secure it.     

The world needs more leaders than just heroes.