Blogs >> Miscellaneous >>
Confessions
Shit.. I have done that again.
I have resolved not to do this ever in my life again. I decided, never forever. Like I always do, everytime I did this, every morning I wake up and every night before I hit my bed.
Streams of frustrations whipped me on my face. Why the hell did I ever started this thing? Why in the whole world did I ever went to that stream...
The stream... Thats where it all started. The glimpse of a stream flashed in my mind. I still can feel that light drizzle, the current of the stream that increases as the drizzle grows into the downpour and the rock in the middle of the stream. No place could have been better than that majestic rock, which soars out of the enourmous stream, to have the grandeur opening of my conceivable sins.
I felt the same nostalgia growing inside. Except that, this time it has nothing to do with the elegant drizzle or the enormous stream. I felt the same churning to do that again. Shit... How many times have I tried to get off from this. But it still lures me like a white skin-big eye-red lipped bitch. I cant take it any more. I cant take any more failures.
Failures... It was what made me worse from bad. It was what made me to do that again after my first rendezvous in the middle of the stream. It was what made thinking of doing that again. I tried to resist but thought better of it. After all, If there is any better moment to do my conceivable sin again, It would be then. The moment I had it in my hand, I felt my heart soaring. It was so soothing and conniving that I almost compromised that nothing could be better than this in this god forsaken world. And now, even with no failures, I cant let it off my hand.
It is coming again. The faint familiar urge, which suddenly grows into a churning, and swallows me like a kite stuck in a tornado. I cant control it any more. Oh.. to hell with the world. I am going to do that again.
After all, I still can quit it from tomorrow.
I have resolved not to do this ever in my life again. I decided, never forever. Like I always do, everytime I did this, every morning I wake up and every night before I hit my bed.
Streams of frustrations whipped me on my face. Why the hell did I ever started this thing? Why in the whole world did I ever went to that stream...
The stream... Thats where it all started. The glimpse of a stream flashed in my mind. I still can feel that light drizzle, the current of the stream that increases as the drizzle grows into the downpour and the rock in the middle of the stream. No place could have been better than that majestic rock, which soars out of the enourmous stream, to have the grandeur opening of my conceivable sins.
I felt the same nostalgia growing inside. Except that, this time it has nothing to do with the elegant drizzle or the enormous stream. I felt the same churning to do that again. Shit... How many times have I tried to get off from this. But it still lures me like a white skin-big eye-red lipped bitch. I cant take it any more. I cant take any more failures.
Failures... It was what made me worse from bad. It was what made me to do that again after my first rendezvous in the middle of the stream. It was what made thinking of doing that again. I tried to resist but thought better of it. After all, If there is any better moment to do my conceivable sin again, It would be then. The moment I had it in my hand, I felt my heart soaring. It was so soothing and conniving that I almost compromised that nothing could be better than this in this god forsaken world. And now, even with no failures, I cant let it off my hand.
It is coming again. The faint familiar urge, which suddenly grows into a churning, and swallows me like a kite stuck in a tornado. I cant control it any more. Oh.. to hell with the world. I am going to do that again.
After all, I still can quit it from tomorrow.
|
|
