I learnt
Life’s lessons
In my mum’s womb!

My mum was
A Merry!
In womb, I heard her saying
In pain, I pray peace
In torture, I pray tranquillity
In suffering, I pray serenity!

Like other country girl,
My mum-
Never went school,
Never read books.
But she learnt Ramayana,
She learnt Mahabharata.
And she assimilated
Hard reality by experience!

Her reality more
Unreal than fiction!
My dad, a drunk,
Impulsive and unkind,
Would beat my mum brutally.
In his life, he knew only
To create bipod lives!

I learnt reality
In my mum’s womb.
I was hurt, even before
I entered this world.
I learnt self-protection
In my mum’s womb.
When my dad would beat my mum
I would turn my back
To his furious fists.
To protect me
And my mum.

Life was a joke to me!
When I was two,
One day-
While giving another birth
My mum died!
Her blood less, feeble body
Did not tolerate
Torrential bleeding.

Did I feel anything then?
My newborn sister
Died soon.
I did not see her face!

We were ten.
Six sisters and four brothers!
My dad never learnt anything.
She got married again
To help our misery!
At least he claimed so.
Our misery doubled up.

We all learnt
Scarcity and poverty
Were the only truth
In our lives!
We ate, when we were lucky.
We starved other times!
My dad didn’t stop.
More he felt helpless
More he went reckless.
He searched peace
In his madness!
Insanity a panacea!

Then another day-
Cyclone took our roof.
We were at mercy
Of whimsical nature.
I wished, cyclone took me too.
I remembered my mum
Saying-
In pain, I pray peace
In torture, I pray tranquillity
In suffering, I pray serenity!

Cholera took my three sisters,
Malaria took my two brothers.
I wished, I was dead too!
But I remembered my mum
Saying-
In pain, I pray peace
In torture, I pray tranquillity
In suffering, I pray serenity!

In school
I was beaten and bullied
While working
As a child-
I was beaten and bullied.
I wished, I was dead!
But I remembered my mum
Saying-
In pain, I pray peace
In torture, I pray tranquillity
In suffering, I pray serenity!

After school
I went to college.
They hated me,
They insulted me.
They found me odd for-
I did not appear like them,
I didn’t speak like them.
They made my life hell.
But I remembered my mum
Saying-
In pain, I pray peace
In torture, I pray tranquillity
In suffering, I pray serenity!

To feed me and my family
I joined Army.
I went to war.
I fought but
I didn’t know for what!
I was caught as
Prisoner of War.
They burnt my face,
They broke my bones,
They throttled my throat!
I wished, I was dead.
But I remembered my mum
Saying-
In pain, I pray peace
In torture, I pray tranquillity
In suffering, I pray serenity!

Burnt and disfigured
Tortured and tired,
I was dumped.
After five years,
I came back to my unit.
But they disowned me
They insulted me.
Saying I was dead
In their book!
I wished, I was really dead!
But I remembered my mum
Saying-
In pain, I pray peace
In torture, I pray tranquillity
In suffering, I pray serenity!

Living as dead,
I came back to my home.
My home was gone.
My dad was dead,
My sisters fled,
My brothers disappeared!
Emptiness pained me.
I kneeled, picked up soils
Smelt them.
I still smelt my mum,
My dad, my sisters
And my brothers!
I remembered my mum
Saying-
In pain, I pray peace
In torture, I pray tranquillity
In suffering, I pray serenity!

Dejected, defeated
Disowned and dead,
I questioned my mum
For first time in my life-
"Are you right, mum?"

From starry sky
My mum smiled.
I saw the cloud
Covered the sky
And flooded the earth.
But soon
The cloud passed and
The stars started smiling
Again!