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From my Diary
Palampur, January 2007............
Its raining hard outside & I can see the snow clad mountains, the lush green pine forests and the intoxicating smell of eucalyptus – completely mesmerized by the beauty of mother nature…….. One can say it’s a poet’s / writer’s paradise….. calm and serene.
From last few days I have been going through lots of problem… felt as if I have lost my mental peace…. But just looking outside my window…. I felt the warmth of Mother Nature and suddenly my spirits are lifted … I am very much at peace, composed…tension free…. Far from the cacophony of the materialistic world …in the close vicinity of nature.
Finally I decided that I should just move on without thinking much about the consequences… I asked myself, why I am taxing myself so much. Then finally I left everything to God and on time…. Just want to spend some time with myself in isolation…. just a self-introspection… I am not sad or disappointed but just for a change want to only with myself…so I have cut myself socially….
Another reason for this is the well known fact that we don’t need a reason to be happy …. We are living in a world of expectations and so much to accomplish… Financial well being, relationships that work, looking good, fulfilling others expectations & to be everything what society wants us to be. We pursue all these things to create a place of wholeness…. We seek a life that is complete & whole and dream of enjoying all that life has to offer. But do we ever get to the place of peace, calmness and serenity. And one has to be very honest in answering this question “do we ever find the love for our lives????????” It’s a million dollar question….. We are responsible for our own life and we are the one who ultimately create our reality. So I feel it’s the time to break through all the expectations others have put on me and take time to be who I am in real and enjoy each moment.
I am not saying just to sit idle and do nothing, I am not saying to become self –centered and selfish… but in course of fulfilling the expectations of others we are so busy that we are never where we are in that moment. We never take time to be in that moment and enjoy the moment for just that…. Without complaining…. Without thinking about the future or the past….or what will happen next…. Now when I look around… I find myself in a society which in its due course of advancement has lost its innocence, values, peace, modesty, ethics, trust, respect and many more things …if we sit to list them it will be endless. It reminds me of a very nice ghazal sung by Pankaj Udhas from the album Khayaal…. Very nice and soul touching… and my dad’s favorite …
From last few days I have been going through lots of problem… felt as if I have lost my mental peace…. But just looking outside my window…. I felt the warmth of Mother Nature and suddenly my spirits are lifted … I am very much at peace, composed…tension free…. Far from the cacophony of the materialistic world …in the close vicinity of nature.
Finally I decided that I should just move on without thinking much about the consequences… I asked myself, why I am taxing myself so much. Then finally I left everything to God and on time…. Just want to spend some time with myself in isolation…. just a self-introspection… I am not sad or disappointed but just for a change want to only with myself…so I have cut myself socially….
Another reason for this is the well known fact that we don’t need a reason to be happy …. We are living in a world of expectations and so much to accomplish… Financial well being, relationships that work, looking good, fulfilling others expectations & to be everything what society wants us to be. We pursue all these things to create a place of wholeness…. We seek a life that is complete & whole and dream of enjoying all that life has to offer. But do we ever get to the place of peace, calmness and serenity. And one has to be very honest in answering this question “do we ever find the love for our lives????????” It’s a million dollar question….. We are responsible for our own life and we are the one who ultimately create our reality. So I feel it’s the time to break through all the expectations others have put on me and take time to be who I am in real and enjoy each moment.
I am not saying just to sit idle and do nothing, I am not saying to become self –centered and selfish… but in course of fulfilling the expectations of others we are so busy that we are never where we are in that moment. We never take time to be in that moment and enjoy the moment for just that…. Without complaining…. Without thinking about the future or the past….or what will happen next…. Now when I look around… I find myself in a society which in its due course of advancement has lost its innocence, values, peace, modesty, ethics, trust, respect and many more things …if we sit to list them it will be endless. It reminds me of a very nice ghazal sung by Pankaj Udhas from the album Khayaal…. Very nice and soul touching… and my dad’s favorite …
It goes like.
“Dukh such tha ek sab ka apna ho ya begana
Ek wo bhi tha zamana , ek ye bhi hai zamana
Dada hayat the jab mitti ka ek ghar tha…..
Ek wo bhi tha zamana , ek ye bhi hai zamana
Dada hayat the jab mitti ka ek ghar tha…..
Na dakuon ka khatka na choron ka dar tha
khate the rukhi sukhi sote the neend gehari
Sukun tha dilon mein mathe pe bal nahi tha...
Abba ka waqt aaya talim ghar mein aayi...
Talim apne saath taza wichaar layi...
mitti ka ghar hata kar pakka makaan ayaa........
(i dont remember exactly the whole song but final verse goes like this just trying to put it as correctly as i can )
Ab Apna waqt aaya paisa bhi hai soharat bhi
naukar hain chakar hai, gari hai bangla bhi...
Par dil mein sukun nahi hai......
Aye aane waali naslon aye aane wale logon jo kuchh hai humne khoya
wo tum kabhi na khona.....” and it goes on
I believe that the present moment is what we have and its not going to come again….so live in the present …enjoy every moment of your life….Just want to say in course of achieving our goals n fulfilling others expectations…. We just ignore small things which bring true happiness to ones life…..
To be continued................
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