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Twenty New Management Styles
- MANAGING BY WALKING FASTER THEN THE EMPLOYEES
These kind of managers you will always see in the corridor, ten stepsaway. "We'll have to talk" you can hear them say, just as they havedisappeared around the corner.
- MANAGING BY STARING OUT OF THE WINDOW
These managers you usually meet with their backside faced to you withtheir hands in their pockets. When you talk to them, their thoughts keepstaring out of the windows.
- MANAGING BY POST-IT'S
Some managers forget everything. They want to impress you with their'busy'ness by continuously writing on Post-it's while you are talking.
- MANAGING BY DELEGATION TO THE SECRETARY
These managers just delegate everything to the secretary. If He isgood, He knows what she must do.
- MANAGING BY KNOWING NOTHING
These managers don't really know anything at all. They let YOU giveanswers. Meanwhile they fill the time with nice anecdotes of irrelevantcases.
- MANAGING BY CONCEPTUAL THINKING
These people try to explain the present from a theoretical view of thefar future. The idea that this never will work, completely satisfiesthem: They will always have something to talk about.
- MANAGING BY HIDING INFORMATION
Information hiders are aware of the market value of strictly secret keptinformation. You must be very thankful to get any information at all.Beware of simulants from category 5!
- MANAGING BY DOING EXACTLY WHAT THE BOSS SAYS
These managers prevent their bosses from creative thinking. Else theygot more work to do.
- MANAGING BY WALKING ONE FOOT BEHIND THE BOSS
In hierarchical organizations you can watch those groups walking in thecorridor. The more equal managers are directly followed by the lesserequal managers, and so on.
- MANAGING BY SMILING AND WEARING NICE SUITS
If you drink beer with them, lunch with them, smile to them and alsowear nice suits, nothing can stop your career anymore.
- MANAGING BY STUDYING
Despite their continual attendances of all kind of studies andcongresses, they still belong to category 5. The longer they learn, thefurther they get from the practice.
- MANAGING BY CREATING VAGUE OVERHEAD SHEETS
Do you know them? Those sheets with some big arrows,boxes or circles?These sheets provide the ultimate proof of their overall brilliance.
- MANAGING BY OPEN DOOR AND EMPTY ROOM
This is a major improvement of the older 'OPEN DOOR' management style.Now you can really walk in and out anytime you want. Nobody ever knowswhere these managers are.
- MANAGING BY SPEAKING WITH OTHER MANAGERS
This kind of managing is very popular. It will give them within a fewhours the same information as an employee can tell them in 15 minutes.
- MANAGING BY HAVING A NON SUPPORTING INFRASTRUCTURE
In an organization with a hopeless infrastructure, managers are reallynecessary. These managers will naturally prevent the organization fromhaving a better infrastructure.
- BUA MANAGEMENT ( BY USING ABBREVIATIONS )
This management style is ATRASACWOC.( Adopted To Reach A Shorter And Clearer Way Of Communication )
- MANAGING BY USING BUZZ WORDS
These managers like to bluff your head off with hip, nearly undefined,terms.
- MANAGING BY REORGANIZATION
If they think there is nothing more to organize, they reorganize.
- MANAGING BY BELIEVING
These managers must be spiritual educated, because they have no clues atall.
- MANAGING BY FORGETTING PROMISES
If you remind them to one of their promises, the priority of thatpromise is to low to remember.
Source: From a humour source book
These kind of managers you will always see in the corridor, ten stepsaway. "We'll have to talk" you can hear them say, just as they havedisappeared around the corner.
These managers you usually meet with their backside faced to you withtheir hands in their pockets. When you talk to them, their thoughts keepstaring out of the windows.
Some managers forget everything. They want to impress you with their'busy'ness by continuously writing on Post-it's while you are talking.
These managers just delegate everything to the secretary. If He isgood, He knows what she must do.
These managers don't really know anything at all. They let YOU giveanswers. Meanwhile they fill the time with nice anecdotes of irrelevantcases.
These people try to explain the present from a theoretical view of thefar future. The idea that this never will work, completely satisfiesthem: They will always have something to talk about.
Information hiders are aware of the market value of strictly secret keptinformation. You must be very thankful to get any information at all.Beware of simulants from category 5!
These managers prevent their bosses from creative thinking. Else theygot more work to do.
In hierarchical organizations you can watch those groups walking in thecorridor. The more equal managers are directly followed by the lesserequal managers, and so on.
If you drink beer with them, lunch with them, smile to them and alsowear nice suits, nothing can stop your career anymore.
Despite their continual attendances of all kind of studies andcongresses, they still belong to category 5. The longer they learn, thefurther they get from the practice.
Do you know them? Those sheets with some big arrows,boxes or circles?These sheets provide the ultimate proof of their overall brilliance.
This is a major improvement of the older 'OPEN DOOR' management style.Now you can really walk in and out anytime you want. Nobody ever knowswhere these managers are.
This kind of managing is very popular. It will give them within a fewhours the same information as an employee can tell them in 15 minutes.
In an organization with a hopeless infrastructure, managers are reallynecessary. These managers will naturally prevent the organization fromhaving a better infrastructure.
This management style is ATRASACWOC.( Adopted To Reach A Shorter And Clearer Way Of Communication )
These managers like to bluff your head off with hip, nearly undefined,terms.
If they think there is nothing more to organize, they reorganize.
These managers must be spiritual educated, because they have no clues atall.
If you remind them to one of their promises, the priority of thatpromise is to low to remember.
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