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Long back I learnt a trick from an eminent trainer on how to get the audience to focus. I too use this technique on a few occasions when I want my audience to settle down to receptive vibes.

The moment you take the stage, you tell the audience to close their eyes for one minute and think of the one person who they consider as their most important mentor.

A few days ago, one of my brilliant ex-students, who attended a motivational lecture in her new organization and was subjected to the same exercise, rang me up and told me that it was my face that came to her mind as a mentor. 

Then she talked about her work, that she was not very happy with her new workplace which apparently did not measure up to her high expectations. I feel privileged that my ex-student considers me a mentor and I write this “pep talk” especially for her and all my dear mentees, protégées and protégés .

Every person, sooner or later, goes through a moment when it seems that he or she is on the wrong road, that his entire way of life is wrong.

Have you ever experienced this feeling...?

Think about it.

And sadly there is nothing you can do about it, owing to compulsions and constraints beyond your control.

You cannot turn around and retrace your steps or change your road of life.

It is indeed a terrible vicious cycle which gradually overwhelms you with the chill of despondency.

What can you do in such a situation...?

Maybe the answer lies in a saying I read somewhere a few years ago and noted in my diary:

“ Ou Dieu vous a seme, il faut savoir fleurir ” 

which roughly translated means

“You must know how to flower where God has sown you” or “wherever God plants you, there you must learn how to bloom”.

How does one learn to flower where God has sown you, bloom wherever God plants you...?

One may turn to the Enchiridion of Epictetus for guidance.

Epictetus (A.D.55 – A.D. 135), the great Stoic Philosopher, states that happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle:  

This is the basic Stoic truth of subjective consciousness and it is only after you have faced up to this fundamental rule and learned to distinguish between what is in your power from what is not in your power, and know what you can control and what you cannot control, that inner tranquility and outer effectiveness become possible.

On analytical reflection we find that the mind alone can be brought under our control. Everything else, the world of events and people’s behaviour, is beyond the scope of our control.

Don’t demand or except that events happened as you would wish them to.

Accept events as they actually happen. And you will be at peace with yourself.

Except for extreme physical abuse, other people cannot hurt you unless you allow them to.  

You must learn to approach life as a banquet and not as a buffet.

Think of your life as if it were a banquet where you would behave graciously:

Carry on the same attitude of polite restrain and gratitude to your children, spouse, colleagues, friends, career and money.  

There is no need to yearn, envy and grab.  

You will get your rightful share when it is your time.

It then becomes our paramount duty to control the mind and practice total unconcern to externals.  

Acceptance of an event is not to be mistaken for a life of passivity or submission to fatalism characterized by laziness and a sense of helplessness. “Simply doing nothing does not avoid risk, but heightens it.” 

Epictetus exhorts us, therefore, to brave the storms of life with planned action born of clear thinking. He recognizes, too, the practical necessity of working for worldly gains, but cautions us only against the false belief that happiness depends on the results such endeavours.

Being an integral part of social structure, you cannot live in isolation; social interaction is inescapable. In your relationship with others at home, at work or in society, no matter how people behave, you have to maintain inner tranquility, with unwavering attention on achieving your own merit and excellence. People act under their own inner compulsions over which you can exercise no control. Epictetus advises: “Focus not on what he or she does, but on keeping to your higher purpose”. He assures that if you truly live in tune with your will and resolve, and in harmony with your inner self, nobody’s words or actions (barring extreme cases) can disturb your mental equipoise.

Duty of any kind is not to be slighted.  

In his discourse on Karma Yoga Swami Vivekananda says:  

Remember, Fatigue lies in half-heartedness.

If we do with sincerety, with full zest and enthusiasm, the duty which is in our hands now, we make ourselves happy. 

The key is to work with freedom and love and without too much expectation.

Try to accomplish something wherever you are and do not compare with others.

Undue hankering after rewards will render you akin to a slave of your expectations; you must work for your own internal satisfaction – work like a master and not as a slave.

This glorious attitude to life and knowledge of your self makes you free in a world of dependencies and enables you to flower where God has sown you, to bloom wherever God plants you.

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2010
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.

VIKRAM KARVE educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU and The Lawrence School Lovedale, is an Electronics and Communications Engineer by profession, a Human Resource Manager and Trainer by occupation, a Teacher by vocation, a Creative Writer by inclination and a Foodie by passion. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles in magazines and journals for many years before the advent of blogging. His delicious foodie blogs have been compiled in a book "Appetite for a Stroll". Vikram lives in Pune with his family and pet Doberman girl Sherry, with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog - http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/
Academic Journal Vikram Karve – http://karvediat.blogspot.com/
Professional Profile of Vikram Karve - http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Email: vikramkarve@sify.com
Foodie Book: Appetite for a Stroll http://books.sulekha.com/book/appetite-for-a-stroll/default.htm

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