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HUF and India
Compare today's India with a Hindu Undivided Family (HUF) since India is a very big HUF.
Similarity in structure and in the problems of both is observed with a different perspective.
We have been practicing concept of Hindu Undivided Family since ancient times also referred to as “joined family”. Until recent times this practice was observed everywhere. However, in cities like Mumbai as education spread amongst women and as a result they developed identity of which they had never thought in the past. Many women desired for independent home for their immediate loved ones. Joined families broke and in place of one joined family of several brothers staying along having common economy and common kitchen, we began to see many small family units made up of only husband and wife with their children. These small families were referred to as satellite families. We shall take an example to understand this happening in more details.
A joined family of Shinde brothers, we shall take for the example to understand how things proceed with any typical joined family finally to disintegrate it. This Mr. Shinde and his brother belonged to the old tradition of undivided family of Hindus and they insisted to stay together and insisted that their sons also continue to do the same for the posterity. Originally they were only two families of these two brothers but as time passed their sons got married and had their children and more women entered the family; a time came when there were 64 individuals staying in that one family having common economy and common kitchen!
Luckily for the first generation of sons that means sons of these two brothers, their wives were not educated and accepted the joined family tradition without any complain but as the time progressed next generation was more educated and had second generation daughter-in-laws who were a little more educated began to assert for their separate identity. Small skirmishes began to take place creating acrimony amongst the members of the family. Each began to assert for his and her separate right. Common kitchen food became boring and they (the younger D-in-laws) began to prepare special food for their children and husband in their rooms. This made things difficult and they aspired for bigger rooms and separate kitchen. Big quarrels amongst these women out of small fights amongst their children became an every day affair.
I remember one incidence when a stormy small son of one brother entered room of his cousin and started eating the sweets kept for the small children of that other brother and that created tumult so much so that both the brothers and their wives came out with sticks and clubs to brawl. This reminds me of Indian states brawling over the migration of their inmates from one state to other. Complaining that their share is being eaten up by the intruder! Reminiscent of long talk on integration of India; senior Shinde often used the same argument to pacify these quarreling women. Their suggestion of separation was kept in cold storage. I heard of long arguments on how advantageous joined family is and all that but things were worsening.
In spite of all these developments Shinde brothers stood firm about their resolve that the family shall remain united come what may. Many D-in-laws were remonstrated and scolded for dire consequences but nothing deterred these new generation women from their determination to separate from this big unwieldy joined family. They wanted separate economy and independent kitchens. I witnessed many family get together of this Shinde family; being a common family friend in those days and in them the senior Shindes who were Congress workers in the erstwhile Congress party gave many tutorials to justify joined family life. Nevertheless nothing worked and there was smothering all over in that family.
One day that was to happen and it happened; senior brother died due to old age at 84. His sons were also quite old and very obedient decided to keep the promise to their departed father about maintaining the unity of Shinde family for posterity. Younger brother and his wife took over the command-in-charge of the family but now things were not the same. Younger brother’s wife had some lukewarm feelings for her own children’s wives and that was soon detected by smart wives of other (deceased) brother’s sons. They began to complain and a new set of differences were developed. Dividing the family at thought level but still they continued to stay with common kitchen and common economy.
Wife of younger brother died and the matter came for final blows. Younger brother notwithstanding, continued for the joined family and due to respect for him in the minds of all the members they kept together with all the smoldering around. Shinde family and our today’s India are more or less in the similar condition and so this example I have taken. For senior Shinde the integrated or joint family was a prestige issue!
Separate states are like son’s families and Delhi is common kitchen and common economy. Smoldering skirmishes and ensuing smothering is common in both the places. Big quarrels out of small fights amongst the children of these women (states) became very common. Now we shall see how things were settled by these Shinde people.
Shindes were a lot of uneducated people always ready for blows. They talked of fighting on the flimsiest excuse. Every room was equipped with gadgets for body building and they insisted that muscle power is better than brain power. Sharp knives and axe were common tools in their possession. I realized that Shindes are waiting for the old man to pass out. They used to cut jokes on his demise. Youngest boys were being trained to be ready to support the cause when it will come to blows with the cousins. Both Shinde brother’s offspring were completely tired of the joined family. They had firm opinion that they can stay separate and that is better for all of them. These every day fights for small excuses had come on their nerves but the old man was not dying.
Old man at last passed away and the family came to blows. I remember the mortal remains of the old man were lying in the living room verandah and the talk for separation was already in hot discussion. Some of the cousins were drunk with a dose of liquor to give them added strength in case need be. Family broke violently there and then. I wondered why the violence; I gathered that the complication was in the arrangement of the estate that Shindes were possessing. Land was kept on name of one brother and the chawls (houses) on the grounds were in the name of other brother! This arrangement was designed to keep the family together but it is this arrangement that blew apart the family.
Shinde family shattered so much so that even after 30 years of this incidence the cousins do not talk to each other and their next generation even does not know each other. Integrated Shinde family disintegrated awfully. I am of the opinion that you can not keep people together per force. Unless there is a strong ground for staying together we will always break apart. Now the question is, if we have to break apart how to? This reminds me of one other family. It was a family of Mr. Kamat, my neighbours. There were five sons and father a retired professor of economics and mother a retired teacher from a Marathi school. All the sons were excellently educated and well placed but it was a joint family of Kamats. Young wives of last two brothers were a little uneasy about the overall arrangement and they began to complain. Separation was the issue. Small skirmishes on not very important excuses were a common place and the overall atmosphere was not congenial. Common economy and common kitchen simply annoyed these two younger D-in-Laws. One day mother called for a meeting and I was called as common friend of all to witness it. Father was very mush distressed at what was going on but insisted like Shinde brothers that come what may we must stay together (integrated). Arguments were going on and occasionally I would be asked to give my opinion. My opinion was valued in that family. However I preferred to keep mum and allowed them to explain their points. Initially three elder D-in-Laws were against the disintegration purely out of their respect for their in laws but as the younger two began their arguments and they saw that the tilt is in their favour, began to accept the idea of separation. Senior lady Mrs Kamat decided that they can separate but without fights, amicably. Kamats decided to separate with respect for each other’s problems and personal aspirations.
They are now staying apart in five separate places having separate economies and separate kitchens but since they parted amicably and their seniors did not show total disrespect for the aspirations of the younger generation, relation amongst the ladies is excellent. The process of separation was not instant like Shindes’ it took seven years for the family to separate out systematically and peacefully. Each brother needed guarantors for loan to buy the apartments and those guarantees were provided by other brothers and so they could work together and have their separate homes. They call it separated but still fully integrated (separated but yet joint)! They are all in constant contact with each other (thanks to mobile phones) and the interaction is perfect. That has kept the family united like never before. Shindes were separated and fully disintegrated!
A recent incidence I recall, when daughter of one shinde was to be engaged to some boy; there was some money problem but other Shinde did not help and as a result the marriage was cancelled.
One son of Kamat brothers wanted to go abroad for higher studies but the problem of finance was to be solved. All brothers came to help and the boy went abroad successfully. This difference in these two families was very evident that if we want to separate we can; but that should be amicably and not by fights.
When I see disintegrative activities in our country on the grounds of separate identities and aspirations and vested interests, I remember these two families. India is like a joined family. If we have to separate for whatever reason how to disintegrate should be discussed much in advance; since like Kamats we are an educated society. As it required Kamat family to disintegrate seven years I expect we shall need minimum 15 years to separate properly. A program for separation is planned so that every body can adjust with the new situation and no violence will take place like the one we experienced during Partition. This separation is not a freedom fight but an evolution for betterment. It is more like a cell in the plant that breaks into two as it grows full and so it must be a peaceful process.
I found that there are four ways of integration possible for India and presently we are practicing one of them. I want that we better give attention to other three options of integrated India as a matter of analytical study of the subject. This study can help any joint family having the separation problem.
1. Integrated but disintegrated
2. Integrated and integrated
3. Disintegrated but integrated
4. Disintegrated and disintegrated
The first is visible indicator and second is actual position indicator.
These four options are possible. Present India is in option 1 position while attempting to achieve option 2.
Shindes accepted option 4
Kamats preferred option 3
What do you feel; should India accept the option Kamat family accepted or that of Shindes?
My second question is; should we make a prestige issue of the united India as it is today or take the matter in more pragmatic manner?
I believe, in a democratic set up, people have a right to study situation and decide the future course and so this study. I hope you will agree with me!
Please send your views on this study.
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