The air-hostess concept is an amazing airlifting one, is it not? Stirs images and pictures of an alluring 'most-often beautiful' or well-made (perhaps artificially too!), well-rounded, 'always-to-smile' personality, 'applying feeling balms' and keeping-under-belt our worst flying fears! Imagine being served snacks & food by a waiter or waitress at some mundane everyday earthy sweat-smelling restaurant - with only the five-star variety being obsequious enough to consider as excellent service!

I have lifted myself quite often from ground zero levels to 30,000 feet to experience the heavenly air-hostess effect. There was a time when I found the Jet Airways hostesses ethereal, with that ; could-have-been-shorter-skirt (running below the knees) and well-buttoned top. Naresh Goyal’s ideas did fine then, worked great magic, I guess! With Kingfisher, my dreams came true – the skirts grew shorter (though, could have been still shorter!) and the top buttons of the tops were undone with an open collar. Of course that’s what happens when every one of them is personally selected by the King of good times himself!

Meanwhile, Jet Airways lost its dress-sense radar, went undercover and while its planes looked beautiful on the outside with the new gold-blue band, the air-hostess came with pants and full sleeves, awfully well guarded by a golden overcoat (damn!). My! Naresh! what’s happening on the inside?

The other low-cost airlines skirted between the two ranges, offering some wonderful innovations themselves – but none of the daring adventurous type.

The sari can be the most revealing sexy dress, as well as the most concealing drab dress ever. Just look at the Air-India hostesses. I have never seen a blouse designed and worn so badly, destroying the great charm and beauty of the awesome Indian Sari. The fundamental law of a sari; the lower part always needing to head southwards and the upper part blouse always inching northwards and being kept as brief as possible has been overlooked with disastrous effects. Of course they matched & covered the Air-India Aunties (I call them Bureaus & Cupboards - I'm sorry!) as perhaps nothing better could! What a cover up! A chic well fitting, clever blouse (with doors & windows thrown in) could work wonders for the Maharaja’s fortunes. Younger Air-Indian hostesses have tried their best with the ‘head south funda’ applied to the extreme. But then, India depends on the north as much as it does the south! Doesn’t it?

The International Airlines have their own scene-stealing uniforms for the Air-hostesses, but nothing beats that of Singapore Airlines. Despite being against my basic principles (up north-down south theory) they faithfully obey the laws of gravity and yet it is so stunning! An 'hour-glass' figure has never been shown with so much clarity, with all clothes on!

With the economic slowdown and all sorts of mind-boggling cost cutting measures being explored by the Airlines to fly above the clouds, would it not make sense to ferociously attack the tailoring department –especially Air-India? Summer Wear, Winter Wear, Spring-Autmn? Ideas are a plenty. Hope the King is listening – he’s got the guts and the range! The Maharaja? Well, hope we get to see something more revealing other than that splashed in the newspapers, in recent times! Never mind the Basic Instincts- Happy flying!