Mrs Sudha H. Sharma of Bangalore in a blog raised the question why many of our kids are driven to commit suicide due to exam phobia and what are the ways to eliminate it. This article is in response to her request to present my views on the topic. I am afraid, my views may appear to be odd as it is often seen that my colleagues and neighbours don’t agree with my opinion. They normally ridicule me for harbouring impractical ideas. Still, I will put across my concepts on the subject for general discussion, if any one likes it. The article is based on illustration from my personal experience and random samples of empirical observation. Actual examples are taken and often names are changed.

First I will start how I grew up free from suffering exam phobia. Losing father at the age of four and by virtue of being the youngest of the siblings I enjoyed total freedom from parental intervention for my studies. (Should it be considered a plus point?) I was a self guided kid. During school days I never – REPEAT NEVER -- made any special preparation for exam. Except physical constants, mathematical formulas and chemical equations I never strained my brain to learn any other topic by rote. However, I was in the habit of reading books on a variety of subjects other than text books. I would go through the text books at least four times from the first page to the last page during the academic year irrespective of whether it is covered in the class or not.. In those days of non NCERT books the authors had some useful tips in the preface for the readers. I used to give special importance to those words. Never believed in cramming and never did it for exam in practice. Total suspension of studies at least one week before the exam was the advice I adhered to religiously throughout my life without failing in any exam. Yet, I couldn’t convince even my wife, colleagues and students to withhold studying during exam time. It is a deeply embedded habit among all parents without exception, and a potent contributor of anxiety and depression. Can we dare to rectify it?

Can anybody think of leaving children to their own? Is it a utopian idea?

Now take the case of Tinku. He is above average boy studying in upper KG. He knows everything of his text books and many things more. Exposed to computers and other modern gadgets and toys. Scores well in all the in-house exams. High score in his final (?) exam is of little significance. He can face exam anytime joyfully grabbing good marks, though, at times, may not be highest in the class. He need not study during the exam days at all. But his parents – specially the mother – won’t allow him do so. He would be compelled to revise before the actual date and even before boarding the school bus. I don’t think most of the children need any extra coaching instilling the germ of phobia during exam days. Parental anxiety is forced down the throat of tiny tots. Seed of exam fever insidiously takes root in the pliant minds. Over time it grows into dreadful dimension with accompanying pernicious outcome. No wonder, a stage comes while some of them fail to cope up with this undue pressure and are driven to take extreme steps.

Some more stray samples. A mother scolds Lily for taking a few minutes off from her preparatory drudgery before the exam in the afternoon. I, being a hardcore meddler, saw a golden opportunity to butt in, “Why, allow her to breathe some times.” “No, uncle, she is so careless, you don’t know; throughout the year she never bothered to study. My sole concern is how to send her to some good course.” Where is the vaccine for Lily to ward off such infection?

Last year we paid a visit to one of my friend’s daughter in Kolkata. At one stage her daughter, appearing in the final CBSE exam joined us while taking tea. After a few minutes Mr. Tandon -- her father -- told, “Baby, now you go; tomorrow you have the toughest paper.” Whether Baby considers Physics as a tough subject or not, the fear is forcibly implanted in her head. It is presumed Baby was studying before joining us. Who ensures that Baby’s mind is glued to the study all the time as per the parental wish? Is it like a toggle switch in the hand of the parent?

In 2004 a family abandons attending a once in a life time opportunity to attend a mammoth celebration at Buddha Jayanti Park, Delhi, because their daughter’s final exam falls only three days away. So the entire family was in grip with exam phobia. How the children can be immune from this?

Now see how well wishing mothers demolish confidence of their beloved ones. My orthopedic advised me to take a laxative preparatory to x-raying the lumbar region. That evening I was in a friend’s house. His twenty year old grandson was going to fetch something from the adjoining shopping complex. I told him to get a Dulcolax tablet for me. Raising her eye brows his mother commanded,” Write it down on a piece of paper lest you forget it.” I warned the boy, “Nothing doing! You will not write it down. I know you won’t forget.” Mother always criticises me like that”, casting a despondent look at me the boy added. But the mother continued harping, “He never remembers anything etc. etc.” Anyway, he did bring the tablet without writing it down. How this boy will have confidence in him and who is responsible for that, I leave it to your imagination to find out.

Here is an example how the habit of burning midnight oil acquired in childhood carried over to full adulthood. I joined technical education department of Himachal Pradesh. At one stage a departmental examination was introduced for all gazetted employees of the state. The subjects were. Principles of Administration; Financial Management; Services Conduct Rules & Regulations and Hindi for those who didn’t have the subject in Matriculation.

We-- all eligible candidates from various departments -- were lodged at Govt. guest house at Mashobra. My colleagues won’t sleep till beyond one am in the night. And I would hit the sack by ten at night. But they won’t allow me to sleep. “Dada is snoring; tomorrow exam is there, wake him up” I had to join the group preparing for the exam. Old habits die hard: I can’t read during the exam and they can’t avoid it – what a paradox? They are all successful products of professional institutes and fixed on permanent jobs. Passing this exam won’t give them any competitive edge, yet they couldn’t leave the old habit. Teachers are in the same groove how we can expect something different from others?

Now to tell the story of coaching my son for a competitive examination. It was admission test to the R.I.M.C Dehradun. I don’t know if there is any tougher test than this for ten year old kids in the country. Normally very bright boys from all over India sit for the test. But only 22 boys are selected. I did intensive coaching in English, Math and General Knowledge for one month from 25^th December to 26^th January. There used to be one question on comprehension. For that I chose essays from a book meant for I.A.S candidates published by Career Institute, Delhi, leaving aside only the abstract topics. Barring the time for washing, eating etc. full day time was kept busy allowing only half an hour break for playing in the evening. But, always going to bed at ten at night. Waking up in the morning was variable between five and six or even later. After 26^th January he was allowed to have jolly good time without thinking, studying or worrying about the exam at all.

The date of exam was 2^nd Feb. On 1^st Feb. we checked in at Hotel Diplomat, opposite Skating Rink on the ridge at Shimla. Soon he entered the hall roller skating till 8 pm. After dinner we slept. Next day sat for both the sessions of exam and then again to the skating rink. A CBI officer Mr. Sharma told me that he taught his son on Math up to two o’clock at night. The following day was G.K. and facing the intimidating interview board consisting of mustachioed military officers, and central government representatives. It was just fun for us. After having the fun we came back home. In the result declared in September, my son topped the list of over one thousand candidates from all over India in 1984 batch.

Should I be branded an impractical man? How many of us could actually recommend their wards to withhold studying during the exam? Whose anxiety gains more prominence anyway? We cannot blame the parents also. They are the products of the same process. They are simply passing on what they inherited to the next generation.

There are other valid grounds for existence of anxiety. For Indians having access to education – prior to RTE Act – passing an exam with high score opens the gates for better prospects in life. With burgeoning population and soaring expectation, yet plagued with limited opportunities the competition is severe. This is specially true for middleclass families aiming entrance at medical colleges, IITs and IIMs with a promise of higher standard of living and status in society. It is a legitimate dream every Indian is at liberty to cherish. But the road to success depends on nerve-wrecking exercise of memorizing gargantuan mass of dry facts and the ability to regurgitate it on the examination sheet. And the flipside is equating missing the mark with calamity. Isn’t a formidable cause to accentuate the gravity of anxiety? Probably a suitable reform is overdue. But can a consensus be arrived at? So we have to live with the current system till a refreshing replacement is in place. And take it for granted that with the swelling number of aspirants against the stagnant number of available seats, a definite mismatch between supply and demand exists. This will obviously aggravate the number of failures with time and eventual increase of depressives and suicide-prones among youths. We can only teach ourselves to cushion the impact of shock by diluting the excessive weightage attached to such achievements. We need to realize this is not the end of the road. There are other alternatives available, and be ready to explore other avenues with equal enthusiasm.

My mantra is sweat leisurely in peace to avert frantic bleeding in war and be ready to adapt to the reality with ease.