Steps

µ Realize that we all get lonely. It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you or that you have to stay lonely. We're particularly prone to loneliness when we're making transitions, especially for the better. If you're changing, such as exploring new alternatives and paths for yourself, you're bound to get a little lonely as you look for people who share your new interests and thoughts.

µ Call or get together with the people you know, even if they aren't who you want to be with right now. Human contact makes more contact easier. This includes your mother and the guy at the deli counter. Talk until the feeling eases. Make as many calls as necessary.

µ Get involved in anything where you will meet people. If you are very shy, find a group for social anxiety, even if it has to be online (obviously it's better if it's not). Look on places like Craig's List for activities in your area. Volunteering can help.

µ Challenge yourself to take the initiative in social relationships whenever you can. YOU ask the person if they want to chat, get a coffee, whatever. Remember how much you like it when people are attracted to you.

µ Take risks about revealing yourself. Say what's on your mind, if it seems at all likely the other person will be receptive. It can hurt when it backfires, but it's worth it a million times over when it works out.

µ Remember that we are all alone inside our heads; we are born and die alone; it's nothing special. Every person who has ever lived has been lonely. Love wouldn't exist without loneliness to inspire it. Look at your loneliness with detachment.

µ Notice the difference between loneliness and solitude. Imagine this is the last day you will ever be alone. What would you do?

µ Join an online community. Sometimes it can help. If you're willing to help others as well as being helped yourself, check out the free Phone Buddies peer counseling community.

µ When feeling lonely, don't allow yourself to bask in your loneliness. Do something, anything! Take a walk, ride your bike.

µ Be happy. Live a life of optimism. Happiness comes from within regardless of your situation, so don’t use any excuses, such as being alone.

µ Do everything you would normally do with a partner or friend. Many times it isn't the partner or friend you are missing, but the activities and hobbies you shared. Take yourself out for a date. For example, if you would have gone out to dinner or to a movie on a date, then take yourself out to a movie or to a nice restaurant. Don't hold yourself back.

Tips

v Connect with anyone who you assess to be genuine, and who is around you. Following your instincts about people can be important here. Just because someone is around/near you, doesn't mean they are good (vs. bad)company. Sometimes being alone is better than being in bad company.

v Set up social activities when you're not feeling lonely. Anticipate.

v Read literature and go to museums/theater/dance. Art reaches inside.

v For those with religious beliefs, consider fellowship with those of your faith. Most churches should have some sort of regular fellowship, if your church doesn’t then consider starting one.

v Remember that reaching out to someone else lonelier than you could give you more happiness than you could imagine.

v Learn to meditate so that you have the experience of being loved and nurtured emotionally by other sources than human beings.

v Consider getting a pet! Animals can make marvelous companions; they give unconditional love, and can offer you loyal company. Walking a dog can also be a great way of meeting other people!

v Understand that everybody gets lonely at times and what you need to do is contact someone who you know will brighten up your mood.

v The best way to deal with this is to have an organized methodical routine for every single day it takes your mind off being alone makes life more convenient

v Engage yourself in some activity that would keep your mind occupied

Warnings

Loneliness is a state where cults will find you most vulnerable. Be careful and listen to what others have to say about any group you are thinking of joining.

If you have a persistent feeling of loneliness, please seek medical help. It might be a sign of depression.

Watch out! Becoming overly dependent on online communities as a social outlet may lead to addiction and more complications.