In a large multinational company..............

A fire alarm rang at 4 PM in a large office when almost all employees were in office (approx 5000). As usual the entire office was evacuated within 3 mins & all employees gathered outside the office in the designated area waiting for further announcement.

The Security Officer in charge made the following announcement:

"Dear employees - with sincere regret I have been asked to announce that for many of you it will be your last evacuation drill. Due to the recession the company is laying off almost 50% of its employees. So when this announcement finishes, I ask all of you to move back into the building and if your swipe card does not work then it means you have been laid off in which case you will not be allowed inside and all your belongings
will be couriered to you by tomorrow.

The Company has used this innovative approach as we didn't want to fill up the email box with lay-off mails and good bye mails in thousands & also to avoid any fight inside the office and the consequent security issue for all staff.

Hope you have had a rewarding career with us and all the best ahead.

Please move back in & try your luck".

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Three Kick Rule
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Cowra. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.

As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded,
"I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."

The old farmer Peter replied,
"This is my property, and you are not coming over here."

The indignant lawyer said,
"I am one of the best trial lawyers in Australia and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."

The old farmer smiled and said,
"Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in North Cowra. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.'

The lawyer asked,
"What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"

The Farmer replied,
"Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so
on back and forth until someone gives up."

The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot
into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees!

His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to
his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.

Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his
jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."

(I love this part)

The old farmer smiled and said,
"Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."

When you are educated, you'll believe only half of what you hear.

When you're intelligent, you know which half?