RULE 2: The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

RULE 3: You will not make $40,000 a year right out of high school. And you won’t be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

RULE 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. She doesn’t have tenure.

RULE 5: Flipping burgers is NOT beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping; they called it opportunity.

RULE 6: If you screw up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes. Learn from them.

RULE 7: Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes, and listening you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites of your parents’ generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

RULE 8: Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off, and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.

RULE 9: Television is not real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

RULE 10: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.