I don't remember the name of autor but I very well remember the steps he has given for thought management.

After reading multiple times I tried REBT technique for myself and realized that it works if we are ready to apply it consciously with sincere efforts.

Steps of REBT are

A- Activating event
B- Belief
C- Consequence
D- Dispute
E- Effect

Activating Event: Any event that happens in your day to day life. This event will activate thoughts which will cause anxious feelings.

Belief: Your own way of looking at things. A perception which says things should happen in this way only, which you think is always right.

Consequences: If things dont happen in your way, you feel disappointed, nervous or depressed.

Dispute: Challenge the conventional way of your belief about activating event, see it differently, turn it upside down, reverse it, use “what if I look at this way?”

Effect: when you change your belief you get different results (effect)

I would like to give one simple example, how this applies to event which happens in our daily life.

Activating event: You called up your friend and he did not pick your call for multiple times.

Belief: We are good friends, he/she must pick up my call.

Consequence: You feel angry

Dispute: It might have happened whenever I called, he/she was busy, having lunch, taking bath, driving or in meeting.

Effect: You are at peace and decide to call him/her at night or early morning.

Our beliefs cause our feelings and behaviors, not external things, like people, situations, and events. The benefit of this fact is that we can change the way we think to feel / act better even if the situation does not change.

The point to remember is that it is not the ACTIVATING EVENT that determines our actions or behavior, but our interpretation (Belief) of that event.

If one can practice the ABCDE steps with ones own thoughts, it will change life!