• Do we love, trust and respect each other?
• Do we share the same expectations of marriage?
• Do we share things in common that make us shout, cry and laugh?
• Do we agree on major life issues, such as children, family and friends, where we'll live and style of living?
• Do we have a way of managing conflict?
• Do we share the same views on infidelity and commitment to avoiding temptation?
• Do we love each other just the way we are today, without any hidden agenda to try to change the other?

Once they find mutual answers to questions such as these they tie the knot and get married. More often than not, they share similar views and opinion on the larger issues concerning life. Life after love and marriage

Life after love and marriage does undergoes a sea change. To begin with there are expectation from family, friends, relatives and more so ever, your own partner! There are also other aspects such as sorting priorities and building understanding between each other.

As time goes by couple spend more time with each other, little fissures tend to surface. There could be several reasons for this to happen. Some of them could be:

Lack of communication.

Often it so happens that either of the partners gets engrossed in his commitments towards his work and develops some neglect for his partner. Noticeably this may completely unintentional but which nevertheless has serious repercussions in the relationship on the whole.

This leads to the couples having an argument and some a heated exchange. A few ways by which you could find a solution to such a problem is:

Be prepared to talk and listen.

For this you could try an exercise with you partner where each one gets to talk and listen the grievances of the other. Here is a way to do that:

Rules for the talker

• You have to take your full 30 minutes even if you run out of things to say. Any silences will give you a chance to reflect on what you've said and perhaps move on to deeper thoughts.
• Talk about whatever's on your mind
• Try to talk only about your feelings and opinions.
• If you're the second person to speak, try not to respond to what your partner's just said. You must talk about yourself.

Rules for the listener.

• Try to listen with your whole self by giving your partner 100 per cent of your attention.
• Show that you're listening with your body language: maintain eye contact, nod and don't cross your arms.
• You can ask for clarification if you don't understand something, but not if you disagree. Don't share your opinions until the talker finishes speaking.
• It may be hard to keep quiet for that long, but it's important to do so. Once this exercise is performed it gives a clear indication of the perception, drawbacks and expectations to both the individuals in the relationship. In the process, individuals could realize the shortfalls which exists and make the necessary amends

Thus communication forms the backbone for the successful sustenance of a relationship around which other aspects such as trust, faith and understanding rally.

Thank you.

Francis Daniel (Bahrain).