Immersed in mind body and soul on documentaries made by talented young makers on the music scene in India. Not the traditional, not the popular, but one that experiments with what emerges spontaneously. From artists known and unknown, from countries close and far, from hearts that care little about the times and the events that plague our lands through war and terror and politics … just the desire to string that chord that has no division, no barrier, no caste or creed, no color bindings, nor religious undertones … just the heart of the seven notes upon which all music permeates and the genius of those that give it life, a body and structure and the air to breathe …

Time just fled by. Not a sound other than that which emanated from the film and the documentary filled the space in the little family room, which I venture into after days of isolation, and the silence of the soul – a power to put even the heart beat into systematic rhythm.

Consumed am I in it and the delay in expression tonight, or perhaps into the next, spills inexorably in the trance like mode it has put us all in. Music was created as a human expression – laughter, tears and then the music and nothing more ..

O Lord Almighty, give me the gift of perseverance and aptitude to endeavor close to the soul that enlightens us with song. I shall struggle and endeavor and dedicate … just give me the faculty for it, is all I ask … for blessed are they that have spent early years in the midst of such vocation. That have educated themselves in the craft and reap benefit now. Not by its exhibition on public platforms, but within the confines of their solitude and self. That would be true salvation, if salvation were to be sought … !!

I am dwarfed in my thinking tonight on what must be shared with the extended family. But I have often felt that I would achieve satisfaction in  living immersed in what I could somehow excel in sound, for myself, never to share that moment with any other. My self consciousness would berate me. But nurturing one’s soul could never be objectionable, even if it meant disappointing the near. This liberty I would ask and am sure would get.

There is a tendency now, and has been for some time, in the wavering of the mind from one act to another. Read a book and within a few paragraphs the computer or the desire of the television takes over. A channel of interest remains for the moment till the breaks come in and you want to go to another where there could be an attraction. But the manufacturers of television, particularly among the 400 odd channels that we broadcast discovering this common urge form viewers, has smartened to the idea and project their commercials at the same time that the others too, so switching for another programme, becomes routinely null and void. You are forced to come back to what you were on. There are these sophisticated tv screens which split up and project three to four different programmes at the same time on one screen, but the distraction is acute, and it disuades you. So commercial breaks are utilized more judicially now. Quick instructions that need to be given, a swift visit to the er .. euphemism ? … that response on the mobile, a call, a newspaper run through, a brisk walk around the room to ease the stiff muscles … and then back to business .. the business of the show on sight …

It is mundane to be actually writing about all this in some detail, but … that is my agenda for the entire day ..

And for tomorrow … well could it be any different ?

Good night and morning .. it comes up to 2 : 30 am ..

Amitabh Bachchan