The verse is from one of my Father’s poems. It is from a phase in his life when he had been through grave tragedies and was just emerging from the darkness of its impression. It is addressed to the lady … the gender is feminine. It is a call to the opposite, but I felt that the words even though they convey attachment to the female, the woman, the beloved, worked quite well with my association with my Ef and hence its choice ..

In Roman English it reads as follows :

Kheenchti tum kaun aise badhanon se jo ki ruk sakta nahin mai -

Kaam aisa kaun jisko chodh mai sakta nahin hoon,

Kaun aisa, muh ki jissase modh mai sakta nahin hoon ?

Aaj rishta aur naata jodane ka arth kya hai ?

Shrankhala woh kaun jisko todh mai sakta nahin hoon ?

Chand, suraj bhi pakad mujhko nahin bithala sakenge,

Kya pralobhan de mujhe ve ek pal behla sakenge ?

Jabki mera vash nahin mujh par raha, kiska rahega ?

Kheenchti tum kaun aise bandhanon se jo ki ruk sakta nahin mai -

What are these bindings that you draw me towards you, that I am unable to stop myself -

What is that kind of work that I cannot leave ?

Which is that kind of face that I cannot draw myself away from ?

What is the meaning of that binding relationship, that association ?

What is the degree of binding that I cannot break ?

The Moon and the Sun shall be unable to catch me and put me down,

What is that temptation that they will give to keep me down ?

When the control over me is not with me, whose will it be ?

What are these bindings that you draw me towards you, that I am unable to stop myself -

But … these are my words when I think of the matter between my Ef and me ! What really are these bindings that draw me towards my extended family, that I am unable to stop myself … from connecting with you each day … err … mostly night !!

The face on the page, has a semi mischievous smile. It came from the set where I was shooting yesterday for the IPL promotional video. I am unable to fathom why I had that expression. Perhaps just a moment of fun with the unit, or ..

The green was put by the server creative unit as an extension to the background of the picture, which you may want to know was the green backdrop that we use in shootings for digital inputs. Shot against green assists the maker to put in any image behind on the green space of your liking. This way after say the image of the Taj Mahal was to be put, through a cut paste job, would eventually look as though I was there at the Taj and relatively and mischievously, enjoying the moment .. Or then perhaps the creative team behind the server felt it was symbolic of jealousy – the green eyed monster – to in a sense be in consonance with the words of the poem. They were unaware of the actual reason, which I have just explained ..

Phew !! I am tired just trying to explain the new face page !! Naaah , just kidding ! Tired of explaining would defeat the purpose of my writing the meaning keeping my Ef in mind, would it not ? And that would be a grave fallacy !!

There were some interesting visitors this evening. Siddharth Basu of BigSynergy who manages KBC came over with his wife to enquire after my health and of course that gave me an opportunity to discuss my next and immediate work schedule -KBC !! All seems in order I think and soon we shall start work on its promotions and concept and the schedule for its recording. Vishal and Shekhar and the mad ‘bong’, Sujoy Ghosh walked in next .. Sujoy back from Kolkata and his stunning success of ‘Kahani’, still the same, wired up individual. I introduced them to my Father, his works and did a small recitation for them … we should soon be working on some music for Sujoy .. that is if his exalted position now post ‘Kahani’ does not intefere ..

Jaya walked in too and there was some interesting Bengali banter between the Sujoy and the Bhaduri. She reminded me how after ‘Jhankar Beats’, Sujoy’s first film and V@S’s first too had impressed her much and that how she had predicted that this threesome would attain great heights. She has been mostly correct in her readings. As we saw Ranbir grow before us, she had said he will be a big star, when, I wonder he had ever thought of working ..

And so on …

The kids that had gone away are coming back tomorrow and that spells excitement !! The rehearsals for the IPL I shall start too within the confines of my room alone. Its so self conscious to be caught rehearsing in front of watchers !! Sachin Tendulkar has invited Abhishek and Aishwarya to a celebration for his tremendous achievement, so they are in the presence of Royalty right now. My loyalty though is with my royalty, for which I feel blessed .. and so here I am !!

Love to all …

Amitabh Bachchan