What a day !! Finally got to see some faces behind those comments that come religiously on the blog. The promised lunch with the competition winners was conducted at the ‘Saffron’ restaurant at the JW Mariott and six FmXt sat along with the BigAdda team and Jaya and I and we had a fun afternoon. We spoke of almost everything under the sun. Where they worked what they did how they found the blog the choice for my films, and so many topics. A moving moment filled with great debate and respect. I do hope they had a good time. I certainly did. Many and numerous photo opportunities later we departed, with some very happy memories of the day. I do hope we can continue this tradition and get an opportunity to meet more of the extended family.

Yesterday we also voted for the State elections. Went across to Abhishek’s old school, Jamnabai Narsee where the polling booths were to cast our constitutional right and to put in our democratic right on who should govern this wonderful state of Maharashtra. And as we retire for the day claims and counter claims are being discussed on TV as to what the outcome will be.

I am disillusioned though with yet another member of the fourth estate. It is Mr Abhijeet Majumdar of the MidDay. He had first come across to meet me some months back, to register that he had been in charge of the Delhi Office of the paper and since he had now been posted to Mumbai he wished to personally meet me to assure me that the content of their paper would not indulge in any thing that would be degrading to me or my family. I had been polite to him and spent a good bit of time assuring him that there was nothing personal that the paper and I had issues with. I had felt that MidDay in its reportage had on many an occasion been deliberately biased against my family and me and that was the reason why a lot of my writing on the blog had been directed towards them. He had assured me that he was there now to attend to just those very matters and to bring some diligent maturity as far as such anti reportage was concerned. I found him to be genuine in his approach and when he continued to keep contact with me through the net, I acknowledged it.

Prior to my birthday I had been getting his sms’s on the possibility of an exclusive interview - on 40 years in the Industry, on my birthday, on BiggBoss 3 and other related matters. I asked him to send me his questions on mail, a medium I prefer because of the control on the text of my expression and language. I had very little time and was busy beyond belief. He kept asking me why he could not do a personal one on one interview and how miserable it would be for him to do his first interview with Amitabh Bachchan via a remote. I seemed to understand his request. I had met him earlier where he had reiterated the genuine nature of his approach and a desire to set records straight if there were any moments of discomfort with the paper. I believed him and gave him a personal meeting time in my office. He conducted his interview, printed it, and did not do justice to the responses I had given, in the language and style I had done it in. But these are some of the handicaps we shall always have.

Two days later an FmXt member draws my attention to a video clip of my interview with the paper. I am surprised to hear it because I had never expected either the paper or any one else to have posted something which I would be unaware of. I saw the interview that has been put on air through a MidDay enterprise which works as a electronic news maker and now realize why Mr Majumdar wanted a personal meeting. He had placed a small ’sting’ camera on the table in front of me, without informing me that the interview was being video taped as well. He never told me that they had a video net facility in operation and that the recorded interview would find a place there.

Mr Majumdar, you were dishonest with me ! You insisted on a one to one interview not because you were being deprived of the opportunity of your ‘first’ with me, but because you had malefide intent of recording the interview to be used as a live input on a video electronic facility medium that your paper runs. Had you told me that you were recording this for a net broadcast I would never have minded. I was doing several electronic interviews every minute and another would have not made any difference. But by lying to me, the integrity that I had associated with you as an Editor for the paper you work for, has been damaged. Your entire effort, now that I look back, in assuring me of wanting to bring in change, of giving me the impression of an upright and erudite journalist has unfortunately been destroyed by this one incident. You have proven to me, yet again, that you or your tribe cannot be trusted.

A fun evening was had though at the CNNiBN office facility in Worli where we had all gathered together for an interview to promote ‘Aladin’ this evening. There was the usual question and answer, but also some singing and dancing. Vishal and Shekhar sang two of the songs, we joined in and a good time was had by all. The wonders of television, its strength, its working, all still so awe inspiring.

But to get back to the lunch … ah … well … something special and stimulating. We talked of cinema, its reasons and its qualities. We talked of makers and specific kind of films. We also talked about each person’s profession and why and how they came to this decision that this was the one profession they wished to follow. It was wonderful to learn of databasing, BPO’s and MBA educations. To learn about asthma and its cures through the doctor from Kanpur that wanted to get me across to inaugurate the program. The gentleman from Jaipur and his vast collection of books on me and how he had been able to procure them.

It becomes embarrassing for me to be held in such respect and awe. I deserve it not by any stretch of human imagination. Later at the CNNIBN studio it became even more uncomfortable when the cast and crew speak similar language. I am but an ordinary human, with human frailties, basic human instincts of likes and desire. I do a job in a medium that makes me capable of being rewarded by such lovely accolades, but nothing more.

I am but an incomplete form that seeks perfection, knowing well enough that that is like flying kites in Mars.

Incomplete, insecure, and deeply inadequate ..

I shall remain -

Amitabh Bachchan