One can be honest and candid when surrounded just by yourself - the mirror on the wall of a facility where you find yourself naked and undressed of all encumbrances. But why is it that a public confession of similar truthfulness moves one emotionally, choking the speech and filling the heart with remorse and uncontrollable sobs of guilt.

Om Puri’s wife Nandita wrote his biography ‘An Unlikely Hero’ and wished that I do the launch of the book tonight at a central Mumbai Hotel. The evening was crowded with a large fraternity from our Industry and some other well known friends and well wishers. The launch itself was short and sweet - as the official ‘book launcher’ of the city I have now developed a knack of getting through these situations rather rapidly - but it was the speaking that converted the evening from a formal routine event to one of some substance.

Firstly I thought the idea of a wife writing a bio on her husband was different. A husband that also happened to be an important celebrity, made her task envious and one that could cause her to be extremely brave. And secondly, the open candidness of the husband in fortifying the content of the book and not shying away from its reality and truth, was rather commendable.

It must be said to the credit of the author that it must have required immense strength and fortitude to not just live her life with her celebrated husband, but also to share those intimate moments with him, publicly. There was therefore many tears within and without. The within you seldom see. It remains inside somewhere, hidden and secure in its presence. The without is the one that betrays your being. Your strengths, camouflaged as it were in a blanket of unknown wrappers, suddenly gets whooshed away and you find yourself like an open book, ready to bear and suffer the pain of life and living.

Om Puri led a most harsh beginning, but through perseverance and hard work found himself in the company of achievers and leading them in the title run. Facing a public audience can be a most daunting task even in the most comfortable of circumstances, but to his credit I must say his candidness became the most endearing moments of the evening. Overwhelmed by the realities of his own very humbling early existence, Om Puri choked with emotion as he narrated those moments with the honesty that most of us would perhaps never acquire.

This evening he lived up to the label that many described of him - a simple, honest and childlike demeanor - leaving many in the audience to perhaps ponder whether they would ever be able to match him on their own. Yes, there was an expression of hurt at misrepresentations, but I guess all celebrities must now be aware that this is the life they must accept and learn to bear.

To many in the audience the ambience of the evening was a mix of everything that seemed to spell - happiness. To some there seemed in their minds a feeling of depression and discomfort. To others it looked good and uncertain. Many felt the evening could have worked out better had there not been confession. And many felt there was no harm in it, because that is what they were there for in any case. Some texed me with a tinge of sadness, some more cynically, but in all, one of respect and gratitude to those that had made the evening.

But I must admit, if I may, that the evening did leave a spell of reserve in some. But we shall cure them, for they are friends too !

It is now 4 : 00 Am !

Describing an evening has taken more time than usual. It does. It happens.

I shall perforce have to stop before hallucinations set in and continue later tomorrow if there can be some time available. I shall find the time.

The most encouraging words that I heard being lavished to me, in the midst of all this was that of dignity and reserve, of dedication and love to all.

And more of that tomorrow …

My love

Amitabh Bachchan