I must refrain from confessing my condition. I must refrain from sharing my inner feelings. I must remain within myself. I must not transfer that which is my burden on to others. I must learn to keep my thoughts to myself. I must… I must …

A moment of weakness has resulted in the concern and unnecessary stress to the FmXt. I should not have disclosed to you what was going through my mind yesterday. It brought pain to you and worry and that was most inconsiderate. Why must you suffer what I suffer. I must be there to bring smiles and happiness to your lives. To listen instead to your areas of concern and worry and if possible bring some light to it in relief. So I extend my heart in pardon and forgiveness.

The night as was obvious was uncomfortable. Why is it that issues that concern us seem so unconcerning to others ? Why is it that conditions that bring us on with a leaden face, never seem to have the same effect on others ? Is it the satisfaction they live in of not being in our position or are they made of sterner stuff. Why is it that we cannot be the stuff they are made of. Why is it that we never seem to possess the strength of conviction and the great fortitude that they arm themselves with constantly.

How is it that they never cease their work conditions, yet we do ours. Why is it that they fail to show remorse, whilst we are constantly within one. Is the construct of our minds and bodies different. Why is it that we always seek the other, rather than rejoice with and within our own.

Human nature is so puzzling and so diverse. Ha ! I get paid to study it every Friday and yet have the audacity to put out all that I have today, in a public domain. Ridiculous !!

Settle down Mr B. Reflect back on when last you were like this. Think of the depths of grim desolation that you brought yourself into and think then of how it all settled down. Or did it really ? If I can recollect it, it probably never did. That then is the fault. Memory !! It wanders about almost as though it had gone dormant and then emerges suddenly, either with greater power, or with softer and subtle destruction. Either way it harms. Best then to leave it alone and let it fester by itself and vanish. But skeptical compulsions bog us down. We know it shall never vanish or disappear. At least individuals like us do. We bring it on to ourselves. Are we too selfish in our thoughts and too compelling to our fragile system. A system that when provoked does respond somewhat sincerely, but perhaps not enough to overcome what we have allowed to occupy us.

My occupation seems desperate. It may not to the other. That is the perennial dichotomy of life. If we are all humans then we must all be one. But are we really, other than the color of our blood.

I must remove myself from this condition else I shall remain here and damage those that linger in my vicinity. Lets get back to the film and Paa and more …

Yes more is welcome. Balki wishes to put in 3 deleted scenes of the film back on to it. And I think we shall be talking to the channels and media about it. One of the refrains that floated by was that they had wished there was more of Auro in the film. Guess Balki heard that one and now wishes to execute it. So soon, very soon as they get technically prepared, the fresh scenes shall find their way in the film. Would you think that that would be a good idea ? A poll on that ? Ok .. poll it shall be !

Life is akin to my grandmom in the film Paa - a bum ! It is soft and deliciously well proportioned, but at times it does get a bit nasty !! So what do we do with it. Do we discard it, leave it behind, punish it ? No, we bear it and still use it for all its qualities that it propounds.

I’m not leaving it anywhere in some alien surrounding, nor shall I be discarding it or leaving it behind. It shall remain where it was before, in the right place and in the right proportion and never be sought out for punishment. That would be too severe.

Life is the ’seat’ of all that is manifested for us. Bear it with love and care, for it provides more than what we may or can at times imagine.

In love .. in you always ..

Amitabh Bachchan