I was to be on a flight to Delhi by the afternoon, but delays in departure kept pushing the timing further back. Delhi is fogged out, weather wise, its Republic Day, 26th January, the parade and fly past can bring the entire country to a stop … and so it did .. The flight due to depart at 4 PM was getting scheduled for 9 PM. It would have been futile to fly out in the middle of the night so I have stayed back and shall leave tomorrow..

I felt good to have stayed back .. was going to give me another opportunity to get beneath the duvet early. But as you can see its getting on and shall be another late night.

The body is brighter today ; agile and swift in movement. A good night’s rest is so important. Just takes care of so many things.

The course of a day in the life is so varied. Moods, dresses, temperaments later, you begin to wonder which was the personal. Or rather which was me. Many a times we are asked in the course of a conversation with the media, who we really are. But do we have an honest answer for that ? Never ! Not because we want to be dishonest, rather we have never had a moment to sit and think about it.

But I shall agree with those that asked me that question, that playing a different person almost everyday, shall eventually result in us being devoid of any personal traits that we may possess. Or when we do address ourselves in a personal capacity, there is very little left within us to address.

So are you constantly on camera ? Do we imagine that we should be rehearsed to believe that no matter where we are and what we do we are indeed being watched and observed. So does that put us in this most enviable situation, where we shall never be alone, that we shall have to be performing all the time and that a modicum of my personal self shall be perpetually destroyed and buried.

That is a pretty sad state to be in. Not just for me , but for anyone in that condition. We loose ourselves in our ethics of work, but we then loose all and everything that belongs to us personally. Or is it that we pretend all the way to the box office and then no more.

A point to ponder, but within our own. And ourselves.

Its 60 years of our Republic and as a promotion for the film on the media, RANN, they asked me to read the news out to the public on a topic which would cover the entire sixty years. Job done and apprehensions continue.

If I were to abandon asking anything now and hope that the work done is satisfactory, it would be and would be really wrong. Changing ones identity is not recommended. My Father had once propagated through deep understanding of the Country, that we should learn to abolish our surname, in order that we are recognized as humans and not some obscure members of a tribe or culture or caste, because that is what is dividing society. Why can not a Ramesh Kumar Tripathi, be just Ramesh Kumar without the addition of the Tripathi. Because Tripathi gives away the premise that we are in. Society would be better built if this revolutionary act could be adhered to.

But no !! The ethics of the issue are much stronger than our personal ones, so getting recognition would be difficult. Finding balance improbable !!

But the world is strange. Divisions in society were invented by man alone. Ease of reference, ease of conduct could have been reason enough. May be he likes it. Likes it that divisiveness pays. Augurs well for those that control us and govern with the intent of keeping us separate. It weakens us. Our strength in holding hands together could have been disturbing for those that ruled us for so many many years. Maybe their policy remained ingrained within us. But wherever and whenever colonization occurred, this basic British exercise remained and to their credit worked.

Many writings by the pen, into rules, laws of the state, have remained much after they have gone. And I wonder why there have been no changes to suit our constitution and life. They were a police state. We are a free state.

The nation needs to know … but will it really !!

Loveyouloveyouloveyou …