Must rise at five;

He that hath thriven

May lie till seven.“

I remained between ‘thrive’ and ‘thriven’ and justifiably so. I have thriven a bit and do have a desire to thrive still. So a mean between the two should in all proportion be acceptable. And so, 6 is a good and godly number to be waking up. Today particularly.

I have to starve after a certain time for there is need to do an MRI on me.

Apart from the millions of other ailments that my body carries, there are some that need constant monitoring. Actually no … that would be an incorrect premise. My entire body needs constant monitoring. And it is in this regard that I need this investigation.

My accident on the sets of ‘Coolie’ had many repercussions. Apart from the delayed diagnosis and surgery and the subsequent complications that followed, the second surgery within a few days of the first resulted in the need for blood at an emergent rate. The speed with which it was required and the urgency of its administration, propelled several volunteers to come forward in a rush. 200 of them gave their blood. And 60 bottles of it was required and collected and injected in me ! Friends, relatives well wishers and the workers and staff of our pharmaceutical factory, lined up. I lived. That was 1982, almost 28 years ago. But … in and around the year 2000 - 2002, a routine investigation threw up a scenario which had hitherto gone undetected. Some of the blood from a unknown donor was infected with the Autralian antigen Hepatitis. This particular infection or mode in a particular blood donor, has the unique quality of getting active inside the system, after lying dormant for a couple of months. It was also an unknown hepatitis in 1982 and there were perhaps due to the urgency of the matter, no known immediate tests to ascertain its existence before it was administered. So it went into my system and festered and attacked my liver. 8 years ago during the course of an MRI, they discovered that 25% of my liver had been destroyed by it, and that after having done that, was now lying inactive. For the time being that is. I was therefore technically, or shall we say in medical terminology, a patient by default. A patient that had developed cirrhosis of the liver - a condition that is normally associated with that of an alcoholic. So here I was, a non alcoholic, a teetotaler, with an ailment that I imbibed through a blood transfusion from a donor !! Now since the liver and any ailment associated with it is extremely sensitive, I have to be under constant vigil and monitoring, to keep checking if there is any further damage taking place to the liver or not. A few days back my blood report showed a sudden rise in my liver counts and the doctor felt it necessary to investigate further through an MRI. For me this is an every 3 month procedure which is a constant in my routine and my life.

So the early morning rise - to come back to the reason for this rather large and complicated diatribe - was to be ready and suitably starved, for a visit to this claustrophobic ‘magnetic tunnel’ of sharp electronic symphonies and voiced instructions of holding one’s breath, for a fairly committed period of time. And just when you have lulled yourself into a sound sleep inside there, they pull you out electronically, extricate your hands and pull them up behind your head, find a suitable vein either near the wrist or the dip on the other side of the elbow, and politely inform you that there ’shall be a small prick into your skin’. After whispered instructions and some deliberations among themselves, a team of other doctors now stand by beside you as you are pushed back into zee tunnel. The symphony plays again, the voice from the console in a quiet protected area away from this room in front of colorful myriad computers, comes through to ‘hold your breath’ and after a 30 second wait of greater electronic cacophony from this large ogre like monster that surrounds you, they tell you ‘you may breath now’ ! I breath again obediently and perform this act a few more times, each time being told to breath in the same volume of air for every action ! Tough. But I try, and since they did not complain from myriad computer console, I presume that all iz well. Until … the electronics start up again and I wonder if any of you have ever been inside one of these tubes and witnessed the sounds. Often they sound like a great big nail being knocked into your sides and as soon as that is over, a drilling sound takes over, as though your body was being driven into small pieces through a device, normally heard from IronMan in action !! Ha ! Sorry about that simile. Had just seen some extracts of IM 1 with Robert Downing Jr, an exceptional artiste, on the telly and it kind of came naturally to refer to it. Yes … so back to tube and sounds … this time the voice of god that comes through speakers says a more excited ”INJECT” !! And you realize that they have not briefed you for this command. So you wonder what you need to do. They had handed you a rubber pump like ball in one of your palms, and asked you to pump it, in case of an emergency. Emergency ?? What in heavens name would you be able to do in an emergency in any case !! You are strapped down on this movable stretcher, shoved inside a hole where your nose is touching the ceiling, feeling like Charles Bronson in the ‘Great Escape’ that classic Steve MacQueen adventure, when he is digging the tunnel to escape from a German prison, what ever would you be able to do ??? Nothing !! So as you wait for emergency to arrive after pressing ball for considerable time - a few seconds in there seem like an eternity - you discover that ‘inject’ was not a command for you at all ! It was for the group of whispering doctors huddled around your head, or what is left of it after immersion in magnetic tunnel, to push a liquid through your veins into your body. And while this is gently being done and you are asked to hold the breath, you start feeling funny !! Yes funny !! Because without your doing anything, the insides of your body start to warm up as the liquid flows through. The face and mouth first and then down to your ‘tea set’ !! Pardon the euphemism, its the best I could do without the use of offensive unparliamentary language. A few more ‘hold your breath’ follow and then almost suddenly its all over. The bed moves back, you see the real ceiling again scattered with smiling faces of several docs, who exclaim ‘you’ve done very well, Mr Bachchan’ and start to unstrap you, whilst you feel like Sachin Tendulkar after he has returned to the pavilion after scoring his 101 st Test century.

Myriad computer room has more smiling faces. They found nothing abnormal. No tumor that they were suspecting. Extent of damaged liver is the same, no change in that. Pleasantries exchanged, magnetic attracting personal clothing back on, into the car, a few surprised faces around, no media and home.

Okay ! … So liver out of the way, lets discuss the other parts needing attention, says Doc settling down for an impromptu lunch ….

I have a complicated medical history. And this is fairly well known now, at almost regular intervals. It would be terribly boring to continue to make this post another medical bulletin. As it is some within the FmXt exclaim that my last few posts have been insipid and lacking commitment. Also lacking comprehension. A riddle they cannot get, or the ramblings of a fatigued mind. Probably both and a few more !!

So, because there is no IPL today, in a stadium at least - lots happening outside it - I rest and awaken in time to travel to a preview theatre to see ‘Kanjeevaram’, a Tamil film by Priyadarshan. Good film, powerful subject, exquisitely shot and directed. Well done Priyan ! Wonder when you will work with me. Religiously every year for the past 15 years he says he will and must, but never does.

No riddles tonight. No particular attempt for you to reach out to a dictionary. No incoherence. Just you and me …. and love

Always

Amitabh Bachchan