But I know that she rejoices with gay abandon where she is and does send us her spirit of joi de verve, as was her wont. My Father would have been a more staid and silent admirer of the moment, but inside, a prayer and happy feelings would have occupied his mind.

But amidst the cheer and excitement the house has borne a smile on everyone’s face and a quiet celebration erupted after Balki walked in close to midnight straight of a plane from London. I left early - well reasonably early around 1 am, but I believe Abhishek and the rest saw the sunrise before closing …

Its Balki’s turn today and we shall be moving shortly towards his home and with the expectation of some delightful ‘idli’ and ‘rava idli’. Abhishek is being decorated with an Award by Giants International today and he and the wife are there now, soon to join us later. More reason to be happy. God has been very kind to us.

Many in the media today bring up some interesting questioning, questioning that I may never have even thought of. Its been an extremely long span of National Awards they say - from the first in 1970 for ‘Saat Hindustani’ to 2010 for ‘Paa’. Thats 40 years ! 40 years of creative span of rewardable work ! Hmmm .. had not thought of it in the manner they put it. Then .. the last three have been at a time when I have aged and past the prime of that era of multiple successes. And … why was there no recognition for films like ‘Zanjeer’, ‘Deewar’ and many others, the media asks.

Its a tough question to answer. And the safest response is ‘I really do not know’. For one, the popular cinema category came about much later in the life of National Awards and the other that perhaps the jury and the committee did not think it worthy of recognition. What else can one say really.

There was another query : that no where was there any recognition for the so called ‘angry young man’ image that I came to be strongly identified with in the early part of my career !!

More, hmmmmm s… !!

I did not have an adequate answer for them and perhaps just as well. All institutes that connect themselves with the business of a reward, have the discretion to give consider and conduct these awards in the manner they seem and deem fit. We are not in authority to question them. Views and considerations will differ, but in the end it is the verdict of the jury or the public, if it is a public choice, that needs to be respected.

For me the ultimate reward is and has always been the appreciation of the audience. Nothing, but nothing could be bigger than that. It is an award that we accept unconditionally - good, bad or indifferent. But if there are institutions that wish to honor us, then we humbly accept their verdict, thank them and move on.

Tomorrow is another day, another challenge. I must look and prepare for that.

Good night and good bye … till the morrow !

Amitabh Bachchan