A cold develops and drains the body of all energy. Weak and listless with aching muscles the day begins with medication and more medication. There is a symptom to drown oneself in sleep but work schedules keep one going. The appetite diminishes, the pace becomes slow, words of others seem to come from some distant tunnel, and yours appear to not come at all, or from some other source. This condition has been absent from my constitution for a very long time. It is surprising therefore that I have succumbed to it. Funny. But funnier still are the assessments made for its reason to be there.

‘Its excessive sun in the last few days’ … says an excited voice that has obviously been following my water and ski escapades, body exposure and all, through the media.

‘You are working too hard and not taking enough rest’ …. say others, not having any clue whatsoever about my sojourn for the past 8 days. Indeed it has been the non work that could have perhaps been the cause.

And by the morrow there shall be, after reading this report, many from the EF, that shall come about with their own concerned opinions ! Thank you dearest ones ! The idea is not to cause worry or grief, but merely to give that which I receive in a mode of sharing rather than keeping away. This moment is sacred and pure. There is consternation on it, sarcasm and ridicule, but it never does or shall disuade me from my commitment. In my little moment of solitude and connect, it is the most evolving moment and time for me. This time cannot be lost on responses to the snide and absurd. ‘Carry some biscuits for the barking dogs, but keep moving regardless’, said a very prominent citizen of our contemporary world. I think he spoke wisely.

I have had during the course of the day, a most interesting meeting with a media relations group. A group that works as an intermediary between the celebrity or high profile and the media. It has been a most revealing and learned experience for me.

My job as an artist or as a professional is to do my work to the satisfaction of those that employ me. In that respect I have and should not have any other concern but to deliver what is desired of me. It is then up to the employer to push it out to its audience in whichever manner he or she deems fit. It is the job of the media I believe, that they do the work of noticing my work and finding it fit enough to be written about. This is their prerogative and right and that is what they have been doing. I think it to be ethically wrong that I be the one that would want from them to notice my work and then mention it to the rest of the world. If my work is commendable the people will notice it. If my work is commendable the media will write about it. But it is very difficult for me to tell media of the merits of my work and then ask them to mention.

Our job is to work, their job is to notice. BUT … in todays times, as I have sadly discovered, it is not enough that our job should be to only work. It has now come to pass that our job should also be to tell and scream and shout to the media to notice it and bring it to mention. I find it embarrassing and most self conscious to be able to cater to such taste. Others do not. Others that belong to this generation and time. And so at the end of the day, it shall soon come to pass that for us to toe the line set by present circumstances, would be in order without any hesitation.

The practicality of the business seems inevitable and correct when viewed in todays circumstances. And many do it and are involved in it. I find myself hesitating in taking the step so to say, but am so overwhelmed by its system and its execution and working, that giving in to it shall become a must. Aesthetics, sensitivities be damned. This is how the world operates now - take it or take off !

One of my biggest fears in such endeavors is the complete loss of individuality and sensibilities. But then I argue, where else does one get to witness this in our present world. If the entire universe is turning left to right, I would never be able to sustain myself for even a brief second, working in the opposite direction. And if survival is the ultimate aim, better to survive than perish.

And so I shall change course. Bludgeoned by circumstance, whipped up through alternate objective, I shall stand in line. Perhaps at the end of it, still in disbelief and disillusion. But stand I must if I am expected to walk and run, hopefully a longer distance.

Good night dear ones …

I must confess I hate it when I reach this point of my communication ! I wish to be there longer and with more detail, never to end almost. But end I must and so …

Amitabh Bachchan