Another award function, another award, another thanksgiving speech, another moment of greetings to fraternity not met …. another trophy among the others on a wall !

The Apsara Awards just concluded. The awards given by the Producers Guild of the Film Industry and yours truly won for best actor in ‘PAA’ and also gave away the special Presidents awards to the team of ‘Guzarish’ - Hrithik, Aishwarya and Sanjay Leela Bhansali. The 2009 awards were running behind time and so I got mine now instead of earlier.

But the evening was free and spent in watching more films and what a film I saw -’The Cinderella Man’ with Russell Crowe and Zenee W…. The emotions and the moments of a boxer in the times of the great depression in America, simply exquisite and so painstakingly made and executed.

In many ways my connect with the film was nostalgic and personal - having been a participant inside boxing rings in school. And much of the climax of the film seemed too close for comfort for me and my own experience in Sherwood College, Nainital.

In school you entered the boxing ring because it won you a point for the ‘Cock House’ title - the most prestigious title that each ‘house’ yearned for. Because of my height, I would always find myself being pushed into a higher weight and stronger contenders. During the school championships I fought my way through to the finals, where I was to encounter someone who was not only stronger and bigger than me, but was also the Most Scientific Boxer of the College. On the night before the fight, my Principal came up to my bed in the dormitory and told me that I should walk away from this fight, because my opponent being so strong would hurt me grievously, kill me. Soon after he left my PT Instructor walked in and told me to fight or else he would kill me. Kill not to be taken in the literal sense but, you know what I mean. ( Why do I have a funny feeling I have narrated this episode to you in an earlier post ? ). I listened to my PT instructor and went into the ring the next day and gave it all. I almost won. Everyone was shocked and surprised. For my pluck and courage they gave me a special cup of the ‘Pluckiest Loser’.

The story of Braddock in the film was much the same in the final moments and I could not resist my tears when it was all over. The boxing ring has been to me a wonderful example of life. When you are in their you are alone. You fight alone. Outside the ring the masses and those that cheer scream and shout for you, but never enter.

Life has similar connotations. The world screams and shouts all kinds of advice and suggestions and actions to be undertaken, but in the end you fight your battles alone. No one comes to assist you, no one helps you. Its just you and your opponent, your issue, your problem. And you fight best when you fight alone. There are many in life that shall volunteer to hold you and guide you through. But in the end you must know that when the bell rings the round and the ’seconds’ that come in there with the towels and water and advice, leave, it is just you your capability and your opponent. Locked inside those four sided ropes are your hopes and aspirations. Conquering the obstacles the punches the blows to your body and coming out a winner, is the finest and the greatest tests and lessons of life.

I had a picture of me inside the ring during that bout and then with my trophy, but time and tide have misplaced it. Gone forever those wonder moments. Gone physically, but not in spirit. I remember the incident ever so often. I try to bring back the spirit of its meaning in todays life and circumstance and I do not know whether I succeed in it or not. But it remains with me.

Fight of life is a fight you fight alone. And if you lose, lose as if you almost won. Be a plucky loser than one that gave in tamely. If I go down I must go down giving it a good fight - with pluck and courage !! So help me God !!

Tomorrow … Ahmedabad ! For the inauguration of a site for development in the State of Gujarat. Shall be back by late evening, back to connect again with you and the extended family …

Sleep well and in peace and love ..

Amitabh Bachchan