There are friendships and associations and holding hands in various professions. Can we honestly say that they are above the consideration that they have been formed with ? Does it not cross our minds at some stage that an association would benefit a certain cause other than what the association is about ? Invite someone over for dinner, for who knows, tomorrow we may need him. Lets send him or her flowers and a card on the birthday or anniversary. They are important people !! And on …

At some stage of our lives we have all sat back and thought or executed such acts. Who to acknowledge, who to not. Who to hold hands over a meal and who not. And perpetually the thought ringing in our ears, good we came to know them, imagine what would have transpired if they had not been around. It is a harsh reality, but a reality all the same. Some where sometime it does cross our mind. It should not, but it does.

That is the positive behind such operation. There is the other too. Know someone, connect with him on an issue, seek his now understood reason for the relationship, and he says he cannot ! Genuinely can not. Does the relationship sour ? Man … I asked you a favor as a friend, you are my friend are you not, and you move away ? Never expected this of you, how could you ? And now when ever you meet or invite or consult, would it not have the strains of that flavor where there was the absence of the expected help. Just wondering and conjecturing !!

Of course this does not take anything away from those rare and genuine relationships that have through generations gone beyond expectation and hope and duty. They exist and prosper despite all else. They exist despite the oft repeated thought in our minds - ‘let me do this for him, after all I do owe him one, do I not’ . When do we forget that thought, ‘after all’…

A simple situation but one that lingers in my mind often …

So what does one do ? If you were to ask me, I would do, and do it without knowledge of the other. Or never attempt to display my presence, or talk on the subject. Favor done, forget it. My Father was surprised once when a friend of his returned his borrowed money to him after 25 years ! He never expected it but it came back. So he gave me wisdom again -

Never lend, and if you do, never expect it to be back !!

I hope the almighty shall never put me in a situation where I shall need to ask, or beg. Neither would I want to be in a situation where I am expected to give. But if there were to be a consensus on my attitude I would myself vote for giving rather than asking. And after giving I would honestly forget !!

Somewhere there is a beauty in the soul when this is done. Better a better soul than a calculating mind .. with so much beauty around do we really need to …

May the serenity and peace of the above be with you ever .. nature builds it we often destroy it .. maybe we should change the cycle ..

My love

Amitabh Bachchan