” I was ever a fighter, so - one fight more,

…..and tho’

We are not now that strength which in old days

Moved earth and heaven, …

Some work of noble note may yet be done. “

And I have quite unconsciously stretched across my writing table to pick up a volume from his ‘Rachnavali’, opened a random page and discovered the above staring at me, boldly and with reason. Elsewhere, before he quotes the lines, he comments, that the path you desire or wish to take or should perhaps want to take in life, come about invariably from dissatisfaction. From the castle or the established camp or life’s fortress of satisfaction, there are no roads or paths that emanate or lead out. Satisfaction never does or has opened paths, it instead closes them. Perhaps in life there comes a time, when the desire to close all the paths and lay still within ones confines, does prevail. But for him the time had not yet come. Which is why when the moment to step out from the singular essence of life comes by, there is an expression of relief. Relief perhaps, from being driven down by the incessant tempting forces of ’satisfaction’. That moment, that decision, has been the most satisfying and the most rewarding.

I would believe that. For I have observed that the desire to reach out towards a path that never did paint my life with that emblem of satisfaction, did indeed turn out to be rewarding. May be the word ‘rewarding’ is too finite an expression - rewards generally are unable to extract themselves from such severe insinuation. Let us just live with the thought that another path was revealed which could have gone by unnoticed, had the opportunity not been taken.

There is I am now convinced, a mystical almost deliverance between the thinking of my Father and what beholds me. I had no reason to reach out to him today, but I did. I had no reason to turn to a particular volume in his works, but I did. There was no significant indication of which page the hands would move to, but they did. And when they did, I was seemed not too alarmed or surprised by the contents which gradually fell before me. To term it mystical or some other exotic expression would be hinting at unnatural other world designs. No, not that at all. I would demean the moment if it did. Let me just say that ‘a path opened’ on its own and I took it, simply because I wished not to be satisfied !!

Sunday again, another one ! Lashing rain through out the day and the darkness of the skies making the sun opaque and invisible. That must be some task ! The severity of the atmosphere is then before you. It is enjoyable, it is warm and utterly cozy. It provokes one to contemplate, to ease the mind and body. Almost fetus like innovations prevail. Curled up in the comfort of the womb, taken care of, fed and fulfilled. And when beckoned, to appear as it were at your own call. Not as long as it would in reality, but call all the same.

Sunday again and the well wishers, devoted sincere and ever present -

The scaffolding you see is for the monsoon protection, temporary but most useful. Goes off by October, comes back up by June. It has a life of its own. Perhaps someday I may address it on Blog !

Abhishek joins me in the hustle and bustle and the affection of the fans, wet in the downpour but unmoved and undeterred. And after all the gates have been shut and we have moved inside, Shanouk moves out for his evening walk - a bit conscious of all the noise and cheers, but calm controlled and relaxed. Not so, some of the onlookers !!

Good night all .. I travel to Delhi tomorrow for a press meet and back in the night ..do take care and a special wish for Tatiana ..!!

Love

Amitabh Bachchan