There is a quickness in the step and mind, early hours .. all things creative and to do seem to appear the best in that morning hour .. the blog , the computer, the Vog … those important phone calls, the decisions for the office .. responses to well wishers, management, letters … and then finally on the road .. wet and crowded and traffic jammed …

Driving to Film City to the fresh new and extremely well structured Reliance Media Works studio where there is the need to participate in X Factor - the talent contest for singers !! Judges of eminence - Sanjay Leela Bhansali, Shreya Ghoshal and Sonu Nigam and then the contestants specially turned out to perform old songs of mine, dressed in similar costume … such a humbling experience ! Walking back to my seat miss the step and stumble, almost crashing my face onto the judges table … dear me .. looked so foolish .. but ..

Its pouring through out the day .. it is grey and dark and moist and delightful .. Tv programming has become such an arduous exacting job .. hundreds of people working for that one hour of broadcast .. incredible .. management, control, aesthetics everything that can go to make the show look good ..

I fear to judge .. swore I would never do it after I was a judge on the panel that selected Miss World in South Africa .. feel so bad and helpless when you have to put one above the other .. just cannot cannot do that … and so at X Factor I leave it to the better judgement of the panel .. the three S’s - SanjayShreyaSonu …

The performers all from small towns and so full of devotion to the arts and the craft … emotions running high as each group comes along and performs to a well seated audience of over a 1000 .. there is a sense of remorse when the judges pull up a contestant, tell him he did not perform well .. heart wrenching moment that for the poor contestant as he/she stand alone on stage to face the negative.

But the spark in their talent and the desire to achieve so strong that it passes by .. ready to do their best another day before the finals .. and then ..

In office meeting up with that small little power house Harsh, the star of the film ” I am Kalam ” produced by the Smile Foundation that works tirelessly for the underprivileged, providing them with opportunities and hope for a better future .. to excel and achieve ..

Harsh a confident alert and most vocal little fellow .. has won the National Award this year as the best child artist and now has travelled in to Mumbai from Delhi to meet me and then go back.. simply admire these qualities of amateurs finding their way into the industry and so savvy with all the necessary and required equipment for film .. !!! And then …

Komal Nahata brings in a project which he and I have been discussing for a while and we get down to working out the modalities with a fresh director and perhaps a recognized corporate house … a most interesting subject .. lets see where that goes .. should have some screen play and script in place for me to read and comment .. have heard the story idea and liked it .. so .. another film another production another challenge and another opportunity to get to the audience …

One reads and watches on the box the whole saga of the Murdock empire .. some interesting facets some not so .. some interesting faces, read Rebekah Brooks, and some not so  … but getting back to Rebekah, one senses a mysterious quality in her being, a half smile desperately trying to pierce the forest of red hair that falls carelessly over her face .. there has been a debate of some importance in the British Parliament with the Murdocks and one is anxious to see it .. as soon as I get over this blog, this connect this reason for my restlessness through out the night …

There is nothing quite as disturbing than media going wrong. They are the custodians of propriety honesty and sincere reportage and information … to find them at the receiving end is not a happy sight to behold .. no failure is !! But to see media fail, and accept it, is a sight that most of us would never have seen or would want to … its like watching that treasured object of desire fall and crack into a thousand pieces … never to be fixed again …

Where all this would lead us to is unknown .. would this affect the media and how it functioned in our country .. would this be the end of all that is corrupt in the media … funny that we should use the ‘corrupt’ word for an institution that has always believed that ” the truth involves us all …. ”

Would the Murdock episode give a handle to other elements in the media world our end .. would they be accused of trying to fix Governments and influence politicians and the police .. or am I being too naive !!

Time to find out what transpired .. my love to all

Amitabh Bachchan