I shall will it if there is reason enough to use its propensity. I shall will it if it were to be utilized for a common cause - or really for a cause not mine. That would be a more pragmatic view. One that would not smell or stink of selfish desire. Indeed I wish if i could will it for someone else all the time. The satisfaction that it would give me would make amends for all the wrongs that I may have indulged in.

Yes my condition on the chest is bad - I seem to have lost my voice completely. A husky whisper is all that I am able to muster. And as I rise in the darkness of the early morn, the one thought that gives me concern is the worth of my work that is follow for the day. It is not my own condition that alarms me, it is my commitment to the job that I have been contracted for. Home and hearth insist that I remain back and rest and medicate myself. I do. Not stay back but do medicate. But work I must. And so I leave and so I envelope myself in my work and so I make effort to deliver. May not be the amount that I would have liked to but still, deliver in some form. It is not my best that I can do under the circumstances, but it is something that I can do and have done ! It is not the quality of the work that matters, it is the desire to complete an assignment undertaken. Yes there shall be arguments that shall be contrary to what I write, but in the end the world will have to be seen from a perspective that caters to all and not just one. Its the ‘boxing ring’ effect which I have often described in my earlier posts. Many shall scream and shout and advise and direct and give their own version of how the guy they back inside the ring needs to defend or fight. But they are not the ones inside, they are outside without any gloves, without an opponent. I am the one inside. I am the one getting hit. I am the one that shall need to fight back and defend myself, to asess and deploy my own strengths to ward off an attack.

I shall always find myself in that situation. And all others that sympathize with me shall always find themselves in their own situation. You will cheer and love and promote and wish, but I shall have to fight for it to all come true - if at all it does !!

Ok enough of ‘gyaan’ given … ha ha ha !! Time to listen to some of the saner voices that trouble me from the inside …

” get to sleep they say” ! I think that that is a wise decision !!

My love to all of you and more …

Amitabh Bachchan